lzim

Some of this started as a letter to my Sister since she'd asked about the PC Technical Support program I started today.

So I went to the orientation, but truthfully the day started out very badly. First I didn't manage to even get to sleep until after 2am.

I must have been preoccupied with other things (playing Majesty 2) before remembering I needed to have some laundry done (meaning 5 hours of sleep). Once I woke up it wasn't so bad. Didn't have breakfast though. Rushed out to the road only to find incredible traffic on the highway. At least I live close so after today I'll go look from the side of the building to see if there is as much traffic as today. But honestly I can't afford the gas right now to even consider driving to class even for the rest of this week. Tomorrow I'll have to consider taking the bus, leaving early so as to not arrive late.

Once there it went much better. They wanted to ensure that it was properly impressed on the group that we will be in an intensive program. Meaning there will be stress for most people. In one of the papers they handed out was a brief introduction to stress at a clinical level. They listed some events with a point value that once tallied would indicate how much stress in your life is affecting you. Like over the last year how many troubling events have occurred that you have had to deal with. The lower level is 150 points. My first circled life event that should cause me stress was 189. Only 1.

I had to ask the counsellor that was doing the orientation for our program if it was necessary to circle each event multiple times for the tally to be accurate. Flipping the double sided page over I was remiss to complete it since I didn't want to know if my score was over 1000 points. I was sure it would be. The maximum score you need for stress in your life to have a really bad effect, as in the stress level can leave you open to disease, was only 350.. which I'd passed after circling a few more life events and adding multipliers. If anything the day wasn't wasted since that little paper alone tells, screams at me that I have too much stress. I knew that but at what level I wasn't quite sure. At my last job, my coworker had mentioned I should probably seek some kind of help in deeling with it.

Am I wrong in considering supporting (and to a lesser degree seeking support in any small form) from communities like SG? I miss the Abby Winters community but I'll be back in time. So many things need to get settled before then. In the meantime it's going to be an adjustment to student life... first things first is securing that student ID. Right now it will be worth it's weight in platinum if I can use it for snagging discounts. I was reminded of that possibility when I read an article about Windows 7 being only USD/GBP 30 for students. But sadly that only works for US and UK college students. Piss on them. I've been using the beta for so long it hardly matters that it will be released to retail. That and the beta is good till next year anyway, a bunch of time for other promotions to crop up.

And on a very weird note.. and sad I guess, at the orientation I ran into someone from my high school. Now considering 12 years and god knows how many moves removed from those times, it was just odd. Worse, and sad, because I don't remember the guy. We weren't friends and for the life of me I can't recall ever even using the guys name. I'm terrible when it comes to that. Unless I've actively used your name, had at least a few conversations, I won't remember you. Might come from swimming through life with the motor off and actively trying to ignore and forget people, but now and then you bump into someone and they remember you.. it actually happens too often. Like during highschool I guess my personality lent well to being known.. not popular or anything but people knew me. I didn't get to know them. So it happens they'll run into me and I'll be like wtf are you again and why do I care? as is (who-the)

Otherwise I realise I hate being lectured. Surprise. Like I have very defined problems with how people interact with each other, but it is intersting to listen to a supposed authority really lay out the reasons why people behave within certain protocols. Like how many times she said it won't kill you, people aren't killing themselves, and the like. Which coming from a college counsellor is interesting language. As well as people going coocoo. Where I believe she was referring to ways she avoids it. I was strained to not interrupt more than I did. It's very difficult for me.

Funny thing is I just realised that it only took 9 years to get back to class. The plan, if I ever had one was for my working life to only last long enough to realise it's for chumps. That and to be secure enought to be able to go back. That's such a trap. But I can take skills forward and endeavor to leave the difficulties behind. No small task as throughout the lecture about stress management and working in groups for the next year.. and essentially all of the spare time I have circles around one subject. One I can't escape from, can draw strength from and when down is like a murky pool I don't want to lift myself out of. If school is going to be anything, it'll hopefully be a distraction. I might even have to take the guidance counsellor up on a few sessions.. although I might to plan my attack before wasting too much of our respective time.