I have a choice to make every single day.
Pain is a funny thing, it is different for everyone, it's partly a state of mind, partly just a neurological response. And quicker than anything, pain becomes a memory. Pain fades. Even hours after the pain is gone, it's almost impossible to accurately pinpoint how bad it was. It's usually remembered most by how you described it to others at the time and the lengths that you would have gone to for it to end. Pain is easily forgotten until you experience it again.
And up until this point in my life I have completely taken this for granted. I've not understood what it was like for that pain to just never go away. My choice is either to be in constant pain whilst also taking a fabulous cocktail of medication and opioid analgesic painkillers or to be in considerably less pain but be so high on extra opiate painkillers that I don't function as a human being. Obviously there are occasions where I take the extra medication and the pain still doesn't go away, and then I'm unable to walk or talk because of the meds and I'm still in pain, so that's fun.
But basically, I wish I'd understood how easy I'd had it all those years without this. I wish I'd woken up every day and thought, man it feels good not to be sick. Or, I am so happy and lucky to be healthy and not in pain. But I didn't, and I'd do anything to get that back. I'd give everything for this pain to be a memory.
I miss being a normal 22 year old who has her photo taken for a living.
follow my life: https://twitter.com/lyviasuicide
Instagram @lyvialexandra
tumblr: http://lyvialexandra.tumblr.com/
illustration tumblr: http://oliverandlyvia.tumblr.com/
Send me stories to read. What's the worst pain you guys have ever been in?
kisses always.
Pain is a funny thing, it is different for everyone, it's partly a state of mind, partly just a neurological response. And quicker than anything, pain becomes a memory. Pain fades. Even hours after the pain is gone, it's almost impossible to accurately pinpoint how bad it was. It's usually remembered most by how you described it to others at the time and the lengths that you would have gone to for it to end. Pain is easily forgotten until you experience it again.
And up until this point in my life I have completely taken this for granted. I've not understood what it was like for that pain to just never go away. My choice is either to be in constant pain whilst also taking a fabulous cocktail of medication and opioid analgesic painkillers or to be in considerably less pain but be so high on extra opiate painkillers that I don't function as a human being. Obviously there are occasions where I take the extra medication and the pain still doesn't go away, and then I'm unable to walk or talk because of the meds and I'm still in pain, so that's fun.
But basically, I wish I'd understood how easy I'd had it all those years without this. I wish I'd woken up every day and thought, man it feels good not to be sick. Or, I am so happy and lucky to be healthy and not in pain. But I didn't, and I'd do anything to get that back. I'd give everything for this pain to be a memory.
I miss being a normal 22 year old who has her photo taken for a living.
follow my life: https://twitter.com/lyviasuicide
Instagram @lyvialexandra
tumblr: http://lyvialexandra.tumblr.com/
illustration tumblr: http://oliverandlyvia.tumblr.com/
Send me stories to read. What's the worst pain you guys have ever been in?
kisses always.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
But the biggest pains in my life have always been more emotional than physical.
I wish we could come to where you are and make you feel better. I hope you're on the mend, and know that there are people who are sending you their thoughts and such with as much positive energy as possible.
You are a remarkable, beautiful person who deserves to live without this.