lyvia

Some days I'm fine, like really fine, and then some days I'm a fucking mess.

Sometimes I will go two or three days without thinking about you, and then on the third day, I'll find something we bought together, or someone will ask how you are and I'll break down. It isn't normal, not after this much time. I need to remember to hate you for all the times you took me for granted, the time I found all that shit on your computer and you lied about it, and all the ties you told me since, I need to hate you for the way you disregarded a two and a half year relationship, and cut me out of your life, without seeming at all fazed. I hate and love days like this, I hate them because I know you don't have them, and I feel pathetic, and I love them because I know you never got to feel as amazing as I did, because I was really in love, and I guess you just wasted two and a half years of your life. I feel sorry for you for that, I wish you could have felt what I felt, maybe you'll understand one day, maybe you won't, but I'll be fine, I'm moving on and it's not because of you.