Wednesday Jun 17, 2009

1
i feel so alone.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

moving to greenwich has been awesome but i've never felt more isolated in my life. i have no friends here, no job, nothing to do but clean, walk and spend money.

i feel so detatched from my friends, i feel an overwhelming lack of intimacy in my life, and my anorexia is dragging me down again.
my whold day centers around my routine of starvation now, and as soon as i break that starvation, i plunge back into depression. the priory has been pretty useless all in all, i know the motivation to change can only come from me, but their whole 'it's time to face reality' angle is wearing me down.

i miss the girl i used to be before i lost the weight, i miss not giving a fuck.



i thought i'd spoiler for all the people who are having a good day today smile

i shot with the very talented lee gillies on monday, i hardly shoot anything anymore, but we shot 2 sets for SG to submit sometime in the future, i'm still basking in the awesomeness of my last set with abbiss going up, thank you so so so much staff, and thank you to all the fabulous members who commented on it, i love that set, and i'm so glad it's going to be there forever.

we alos bought 2 bengal and burmese kittens, they are beautiful, but my cat bimbo isn't too impressed. we've named them dexter and lola



and now some pictures of my bum in the new flat









ciao!
x

VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
mellon:
Thanks for the note. I didn't think you were fibbing about having good days; my frustration is that I really don't think I have much support to offer. You are a beautiful person (or at least so you seem to the extent that I can tell from reading your blog) and I wish there was something I could do that would help you. I'm sorry if I offended - the point wasn't to use you for something to talk about, but just to express my own feelings.
reena:
I wish i could help. I know that sounds stupid, but i do.

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