lyris

I drempt last night that I called him, just to see if he was back. He picked up on the first ring and I didn't know what to say, not even "hello." I hung up and woke up and went to sleep sadder than before. When I did, I had a dream that he showed up early again. This time, rather than seeing him in a park, he came to the house, and although I thought I'd be upset when I saw him, I wasn't, and all I wanted was to hold him.

I don't like having dreams like this. They're gooshy and they make me feel nauseous when I wake up. Maybe I do have some sort of stomach flu. All the alcohol MUST be gone by now. This is just my body fucking with me. Stupid body.

I have SO many things to do. And in stead, I wake up early and don't even take a shower. I feel like crawling under my bed, but I bet it's particularly cold down there.