Slowly, my sources of money are diminishing. And it follows then, that money is also diminishing. And there are all these things I need to do with money. Asside from the very mundane "rent" and "loan payments", I need to buy a yoga mat and a 70's costume so that I can go to a bus party. These are very important things.
Somehow, right now, I don't believe that "thinking about it" is really going to help me get more money. I think this is probably the wrong attitude to have. I need more money and it has to come from somewhere, and I'm not getting enough hours at work to sustain me and the family that I've been working for is moving.
On another sour note, I don't feel creative again. Why does it come in waves? And why can't I be creative when I'm depressed like a good little artist? Maybe I don't do enough drugs with my depression. Maybe if I was drunk all the time I'd be able to do it. But I think drunkards are usually writers (or rather, that writers make the most functional drunks) simply because you can be really drunk and still write a page and have it work. Sure, maybe you go back and fix spelling errors made by the fact that you can't quite hit the right keys, but if you're a drunk painter, then you might totally fuck up because you're wobbly. Thus, I guess I need to find the drug of choice for depressed painters. Usually, what gets me pretty good is situational depression. When I'm depressed because someone hurt me or something, I can do art about that. If I'm love-torn, I can do art. If I'm depressed because I get depressed because I've always been depressed, then I'm just lethargic and I can't do art.
On the upside, I'm going to Bikram yoga today for the second time (total, and this week) and I'm hoping to feel as rejuvinated by it as I did two days ago. Born again, I tell you.
Somehow, right now, I don't believe that "thinking about it" is really going to help me get more money. I think this is probably the wrong attitude to have. I need more money and it has to come from somewhere, and I'm not getting enough hours at work to sustain me and the family that I've been working for is moving.
On another sour note, I don't feel creative again. Why does it come in waves? And why can't I be creative when I'm depressed like a good little artist? Maybe I don't do enough drugs with my depression. Maybe if I was drunk all the time I'd be able to do it. But I think drunkards are usually writers (or rather, that writers make the most functional drunks) simply because you can be really drunk and still write a page and have it work. Sure, maybe you go back and fix spelling errors made by the fact that you can't quite hit the right keys, but if you're a drunk painter, then you might totally fuck up because you're wobbly. Thus, I guess I need to find the drug of choice for depressed painters. Usually, what gets me pretty good is situational depression. When I'm depressed because someone hurt me or something, I can do art about that. If I'm love-torn, I can do art. If I'm depressed because I get depressed because I've always been depressed, then I'm just lethargic and I can't do art.
On the upside, I'm going to Bikram yoga today for the second time (total, and this week) and I'm hoping to feel as rejuvinated by it as I did two days ago. Born again, I tell you.
Lack of money =
Sucks. So what are the options?