lyfetyme

i felt trapped more yesterday than i have in a really long time. My wallet should've had a chain on it so it could strangle me and complete the metaphor. It's the money, It's always the money. I get it. but I got fucking slugged yesterday by someone who's supposed to have my back. So this is it. no more complaining about money. It you turning your back on me to realize what the fuck is up. You didn't do it to help me. You did it because you're selfish and petty, and feel liberated because as much as i complain(ed) about it, i realize that it means more to you than me, and that's completely fucked up.
Things i now know:
I'm not getting rid of my rabbit EVER!
It will have a new paint job in the spring.
I'm going snowboarding EVERY FUCKING FRIDAY this winter. Even if i have to go to vermont for decent powder.
I am reading more. Starting now.
I WILL be vegan, SOON
I WILL go to the gym regularly.
and finally.
It is only a matter of time before you are GONE.

because i need to start doing the things that bring me happiness. not the grasping terrible things that keep me cllinging to samsara. The simple beautiful things that keep me sane and happy and thinking about more beautiful things.

you brought this on. you are my muse of truth. The inspiration that brought me to the light of your pettiness.
you don't have the faith that i thought you had, that you claimed to have had. In ANYTHING.
ahhhhh. i feel better.