I'm feeling totally in something of a tail spin. It's not really that anything bad is happening, but I've hit one of those moment where I'm not sure how it's all adding up or where I'm heading. I'm still with the circus for now, but I'm hopeful for a new job prospect. They're supposed to get back to me later this week or next week with more information about their decision. I've applied to the company before and I love the fact that they notify all the candidates once the position has been filled.
I made the mistake of looking back again today at my most recent relationship that ended back in March. I was texting her to wish her well and we got to chatting through text and as I had already guessed through some other signs she has started seeing someone new. I know it shouldn't bother me because I wasn't going to make the sacrifice of leaving the road to be with her and I couldn't support keeping her on the road without a job, which she didn't have out here, but it hit a nerve like I didn't think it would. I feel like we came to a somewhat mutual parting of the ways, but in reality I don't think that's the way it happened. I think I broke up with her even though she's the one who suggested in a sleepy/ groggy phone call that things weren't working out. She texted me the next morning that she had a nightmare that we had broken up the night before and I texted her that it actually happened and that I was getting on the bus to go to the next city and we could talk later. I don't really remember talking about it after that and we drifted apart pretty quickly. There's a small part of me that will always wonder what could have been, but we were dating/ living together for 6 months and then I was on the road for another 3 months before we broke up, but I can't tell you with confidence what her favorite color or band is off the top of my head. Shouldn't I have known that after that long? I don't recall what her favorite pieces of jewelry or precious stones are.... I realized that I didn't know much about her at all and I have no idea why not!!
Anyway, the above string of thoughts coupled with the potential at getting a new job soon and my complacency/ comfortable feeling in my current job have my head all tumbling over itself with thoughts. I guess I've got this lonely feeling creeping up on me and I don't know why I'm not really bonding with anyone out here on this show. I could break down my circle of friends, which wouldn't take long, but I don't feel like typing it all out. I've even drifted away from SG for a few weeks now, which makes me wonder what I've really been doing with my time.
I've been out riding on my bike. I've averaged about 32+ miles a week on the bike because I've been trying to get out for about 16 mile long rides when I get the chance, which is about 2 - 3 times a week. I've gotten some stuff together to prep my stuff for leaving this show and I've started the mental list of what I can part with when I move out of this trailer to lighten my load. I've finally gotten so comfortable and casual about my looking for a new job that I asked my Boss last week if he would give me a good reference. I got a mostly sarcastic response and let the subject drop and decided that using him as a reference wasn't really a great idea because he really wants to keep me in the job that I have at the moment.
I've been listening to the new Flogging Molly CD and maybe it's my mood, but it's not really impressing me or making it to my list of favorites, yet. There's still some tracks left and it might get better? Anyway, what's everyone else been doing? I'm about to embark on my quest of reading a lot of the blogs that I follow when I am on SG and that should take me a bit. Until the next time, I wish everyone the best!!
I made the mistake of looking back again today at my most recent relationship that ended back in March. I was texting her to wish her well and we got to chatting through text and as I had already guessed through some other signs she has started seeing someone new. I know it shouldn't bother me because I wasn't going to make the sacrifice of leaving the road to be with her and I couldn't support keeping her on the road without a job, which she didn't have out here, but it hit a nerve like I didn't think it would. I feel like we came to a somewhat mutual parting of the ways, but in reality I don't think that's the way it happened. I think I broke up with her even though she's the one who suggested in a sleepy/ groggy phone call that things weren't working out. She texted me the next morning that she had a nightmare that we had broken up the night before and I texted her that it actually happened and that I was getting on the bus to go to the next city and we could talk later. I don't really remember talking about it after that and we drifted apart pretty quickly. There's a small part of me that will always wonder what could have been, but we were dating/ living together for 6 months and then I was on the road for another 3 months before we broke up, but I can't tell you with confidence what her favorite color or band is off the top of my head. Shouldn't I have known that after that long? I don't recall what her favorite pieces of jewelry or precious stones are.... I realized that I didn't know much about her at all and I have no idea why not!!
Anyway, the above string of thoughts coupled with the potential at getting a new job soon and my complacency/ comfortable feeling in my current job have my head all tumbling over itself with thoughts. I guess I've got this lonely feeling creeping up on me and I don't know why I'm not really bonding with anyone out here on this show. I could break down my circle of friends, which wouldn't take long, but I don't feel like typing it all out. I've even drifted away from SG for a few weeks now, which makes me wonder what I've really been doing with my time.
I've been out riding on my bike. I've averaged about 32+ miles a week on the bike because I've been trying to get out for about 16 mile long rides when I get the chance, which is about 2 - 3 times a week. I've gotten some stuff together to prep my stuff for leaving this show and I've started the mental list of what I can part with when I move out of this trailer to lighten my load. I've finally gotten so comfortable and casual about my looking for a new job that I asked my Boss last week if he would give me a good reference. I got a mostly sarcastic response and let the subject drop and decided that using him as a reference wasn't really a great idea because he really wants to keep me in the job that I have at the moment.
I've been listening to the new Flogging Molly CD and maybe it's my mood, but it's not really impressing me or making it to my list of favorites, yet. There's still some tracks left and it might get better? Anyway, what's everyone else been doing? I'm about to embark on my quest of reading a lot of the blogs that I follow when I am on SG and that should take me a bit. Until the next time, I wish everyone the best!!