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luz

SG Since 2005

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Tuesday Sep 27, 2005

Sep 27, 2005
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yo, dudes.

so school finally reopened today but i didn't go.

this is because i was up all fucking night having panic attacks!

first of all, i hate the term "panic attacks." in no way was i mentally panicking. when you tell someone, "i have these panic attacks," they immediately say, "oh, what's wrong; what are you panicking about?"

here's the deal. if i have a "panic attack," it is something i wake up with. i never -- or should i say, rarely -- have a panic attack that begins in waking life. instead, i just wake up, usually in the middle of the night, and my body is undergoing a physical reaction much as one would have if, say,

a maniac was chasing you with a hatchet.

or,

you're being eaten by a shark.

it's a totally physical thing, and all this adrenaline is surging through your body. for me, the only thing that would seem to be a comfort during one of these episodes would be to bust into a run screaming down the street.

see, during a "panic attack," that's what your body feels is appropriate action...

however inappropriate this would be for a naked girl at 4 in the a.m.

oh yeah, that's right: naked.

so to compensate for my lack of attendance at school, i read all day: paradise lost, of course, as well as camus' the plague.

camus rocks, y'all.

so now gimme shock treatment.

god. or at least a bong hit.

or maybe one of you boys could give me a dong hit.

later.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
y:
I've had plenty of "anxiety attacks" in my short life, though they're mostly in the past now. I had a really bad spell around five years ago where I'd wake up in the middle of the night and not know who I was. I'd be paralyzed with fear, go really cold - all the blood withdrawing to the centre of my body; I'd get pins and needles in my hands and feet, and then start shivering; eventually my whole body would go into spasms like I was having a fit. My Mum ended up giving me these powerful prescription drugs of my Dad's just to calm me down. Fun times.
Sep 28, 2005
gosifer:
How does The Plague measure up to Camus' other work? I have read The Fall and The Stranger, and loved them both.

There are some decent indie bands playing Cafe Cottage this Saturday (Oct 1). Frames of Reference, The Eames Era, and MattRock And The Powerboxx, it'll be a pretty good show.
Sep 30, 2005

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