Oh yeah...
school's out for summer!
school's out forever!
fuck yeah, dudes. today i turned in the last of many papers. my first year in graduate school is complete.
here's a story:
i went to the only high school in the world that had sororities. one was called the sub-debs--that's short for suburban debutants. the other was called the BFB's, which was short for the barefoot babes.
in junior high i had a couple of "cool" girlfriends. since we were so anti-establishment and cool, we promised each other to never join the sororities.
but they all joined the sororities. i never did. no one ever invited me anyway.
it was definitely an "invite-only" kind of thing.
anyway, every year they hazed a batch of new girls into the sororities. the new girls were called "rats," and during the final week of hazing, they experienced something called "rat week." during this week, the "rats" were tortured in many ways. for example:
they could not wear make-up to school (imagine that!)
no talking to boys (the cruelty!)
vegetable oil was applied to their hair (oh, bitter humiliation!)
their oily hair had to be worn in pigtails (hm, kinda cute)
they had to wear ugly clothes to school (alienation, you fiend!)
every year, "rat week" culminated in an event called "the messy." It seemed like hundreds of kids from ages 14-20 would attend these things. At the messy, all "rats" were ordered to humiliate themselves in various ways, such as performing Vanilla Ice impersonations, dancing with pads and tampons dangling from their clothes, or being forced to "go tell the guy you have a secret crush on that you want to lick his asshole."
at the end of the day, the "rats" were doused in a disgusting mixture of dog shit, baked beans, toothpaste, tobacco juice, vodka, ketchup, cat food...you fuckin' name it, man. once i saw a girl go into seizures over this shit. actually, she had just had brain surgery a few weeks before.
well, among the "rats" there was a rat. one girl told the school principal about the hazing, describing in detail the extent of the cruelty.
remember: no make-up at school! the horror, the horror!
one day in trig class, the principal made an announcement over the intercom. he was like, "the hazing has to end...you will be severely punished..."
as the announcement ended, and silence lay across the room, one girl rose from her desk. she stood in the middle of the room, turning to face the students behind her.
she slowly reached both hands to the side of her head. she pulled out the pigtails and said,
"it's OVER."
now i might not be a sorority rat,
but as far as i'm concerned,
that's what i'm sayin' to this semester...
it's over, you torturer!
i'm done, bitches.
love.luz.
school's out for summer!
school's out forever!
fuck yeah, dudes. today i turned in the last of many papers. my first year in graduate school is complete.
here's a story:
i went to the only high school in the world that had sororities. one was called the sub-debs--that's short for suburban debutants. the other was called the BFB's, which was short for the barefoot babes.
in junior high i had a couple of "cool" girlfriends. since we were so anti-establishment and cool, we promised each other to never join the sororities.
but they all joined the sororities. i never did. no one ever invited me anyway.
it was definitely an "invite-only" kind of thing.
anyway, every year they hazed a batch of new girls into the sororities. the new girls were called "rats," and during the final week of hazing, they experienced something called "rat week." during this week, the "rats" were tortured in many ways. for example:
they could not wear make-up to school (imagine that!)
no talking to boys (the cruelty!)
vegetable oil was applied to their hair (oh, bitter humiliation!)
their oily hair had to be worn in pigtails (hm, kinda cute)
they had to wear ugly clothes to school (alienation, you fiend!)
every year, "rat week" culminated in an event called "the messy." It seemed like hundreds of kids from ages 14-20 would attend these things. At the messy, all "rats" were ordered to humiliate themselves in various ways, such as performing Vanilla Ice impersonations, dancing with pads and tampons dangling from their clothes, or being forced to "go tell the guy you have a secret crush on that you want to lick his asshole."
at the end of the day, the "rats" were doused in a disgusting mixture of dog shit, baked beans, toothpaste, tobacco juice, vodka, ketchup, cat food...you fuckin' name it, man. once i saw a girl go into seizures over this shit. actually, she had just had brain surgery a few weeks before.
well, among the "rats" there was a rat. one girl told the school principal about the hazing, describing in detail the extent of the cruelty.
remember: no make-up at school! the horror, the horror!
one day in trig class, the principal made an announcement over the intercom. he was like, "the hazing has to end...you will be severely punished..."
as the announcement ended, and silence lay across the room, one girl rose from her desk. she stood in the middle of the room, turning to face the students behind her.
she slowly reached both hands to the side of her head. she pulled out the pigtails and said,
"it's OVER."
now i might not be a sorority rat,
but as far as i'm concerned,
that's what i'm sayin' to this semester...
it's over, you torturer!
i'm done, bitches.
love.luz.
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
I'm glad for ya. My lady friend is finished too so I know just how ya feel.