luz

Hey dudes!

I worked daycare. Then I was a nanny.

And then of course, there was the stripping, and the money, and the mind fuck.

I was very successful as a stripper and had a fabulous, clothes-buying, dining-out, drinking-out, expensive-pot-smoking lifestyle. This was about the time I got into Jay-Z. Here i was, this middle-class-born white girl with a college degree, identifying with the lyrics of this guy who, in his words, "came from the ghetto you ruined and made something."

my favorite line on his album blueprint was always:

I will not lose...ever. fucker.

yet, at the same time, i knew i could not do this stripping shit forever. it was, at the time, a calculated means from which i could save money to go on a big trip and of course, to go to grad school.

grad school seemed like my only choice.

what else is there to do with an english degree?

so i uprooted my whole life and left my friends. my sister-in-law told me that a big change kept you from getting too comfortable, and your life from becoming stagnant.

i guess that's true.

so now i'm in this new situation, this "grad-school" situation, with deadlines i expected-- yet deadlines whose ability to overwhelm i had underestimated.

i'm still glad i did this, though. except i just always thought by now i'd be famous or something. ha.

anyhoo. this all leads to the inspiration borne of a painfully boring, three-hour-long graduate level night class.

the class is "research methods" and consists entirely of one student after the other giving a presentation on, say, a literary journal. or a literary critic.

the presentations are only supposed to be 10-15 minutes, but there are always the brown-nosers who go over in order to impress the professor. last monday, one woman gave an hour-long presentation on fucking typefaces. an hour on typefaces? yeah. use your imagination-- you'll need it.

however, because of this ridiculously long presentation, i was inspired to pass class time by creating the following works of staggering genius. observe:





this last one was directly inspired by the woman giving the long presentation.

now i realize: i am an artistic genius! i could be ranked with rembrandt, michaelangelo, that guy who drew Akira!

please. hold the applause.

okay. don't hold it.

bye.