My head hurts. I just saw The Matrix: Revolutions.
Worst.
Ending.
Ever.
OK, remember the second Matrix movie? You don't have to to know what's going on. You need to have played and beaten the Matrix video game.
Thinking of seeing Matrix 3? Here's my "Viewer's Guide" so you know what you're in for.
1-Leave after the Neo/Smith battle (I'm not spoiling anything. They make a huge deal about it in the previews). Trust me. You won't like how this movie ends.
2-If you have no idea what the fuck they're talking about, don't worry, neither do the filmmakers.
3-Hugo Weaving is the new John Lithgow
4-The Zion battle sequence is really fucking rad.
5-Remember all that doofy pseudo-philosophical bullshit in Reloaded? They never mention any of it.
6-Also, remember those badass twins with dreads that could go through walls and shit in Reloaded? They are nowhere to be seen.
7-Monica Bellucci+Red Latex Dress=something to jerk off about for weeks.
8-The leader of the robots is a total fucking ripoff of Master Control from Tron.
9-If any more people died in this movie in Christ poses, it would have been "Life of Brian".
10-The movie feels from time to time like you're watching someone play a videogame.
11-Latex clothing is hot.
12-So are girls in gasmasks for some reason.
13-You don't see Keanu's ass.
14-Have you seen Akira? Have you seen your average Disney cartoon? Then you know how this movie ends.
And I'm spent.
Worst.
Ending.
Ever.
OK, remember the second Matrix movie? You don't have to to know what's going on. You need to have played and beaten the Matrix video game.
Thinking of seeing Matrix 3? Here's my "Viewer's Guide" so you know what you're in for.
1-Leave after the Neo/Smith battle (I'm not spoiling anything. They make a huge deal about it in the previews). Trust me. You won't like how this movie ends.
2-If you have no idea what the fuck they're talking about, don't worry, neither do the filmmakers.
3-Hugo Weaving is the new John Lithgow
4-The Zion battle sequence is really fucking rad.
5-Remember all that doofy pseudo-philosophical bullshit in Reloaded? They never mention any of it.
6-Also, remember those badass twins with dreads that could go through walls and shit in Reloaded? They are nowhere to be seen.
7-Monica Bellucci+Red Latex Dress=something to jerk off about for weeks.
8-The leader of the robots is a total fucking ripoff of Master Control from Tron.
9-If any more people died in this movie in Christ poses, it would have been "Life of Brian".
10-The movie feels from time to time like you're watching someone play a videogame.
11-Latex clothing is hot.
12-So are girls in gasmasks for some reason.
13-You don't see Keanu's ass.
14-Have you seen Akira? Have you seen your average Disney cartoon? Then you know how this movie ends.
And I'm spent.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
prescience:
I sorta liked the movie myself. But everyone's entitled to their opinion and this is definitely one of the most honest and amusing reviews I've read! 
asreal1:
if the ending is what i think it is i might be happy... i'm not sure.