luxdivon

serious thoughts. regarding past, cycles, compulsive behavior, and the necessity to crave scolding, and to receive attention.
i post the link here only in knowing that if it might be helpful to someone else's discovery of themselves, then i should share it. it is not light hearted. its is my raw thoughts of my inner tormenting compulsions.

being scolded - a compulsion of craving for...
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serious thoughts. regarding past, cycles, compulsive behavior, and the necessity to crave scolding, and to receive attention.
i post the link here only in knowing that if it might be helpful to someone else's discovery of themselves, then i should share it. it is not light hearted. its is my raw thoughts of my inner tormenting compulsions.

being scolded - a compulsion of craving for...
Read More

Ember:
mouth water
.wet.

p.s. more pictures soon? too soon? i'd be spoiling y'all wouldnt i?

haha. i have to say ya'll cuz i'm from texas.
not born here. but got here as fast as i could.
to austin at least

well well well. this is one of those updates where i update but have nothing to say. guess working 40hrs/week is takign it out of me

i cookies
i am a cookie monster
feed me cookies

yum

p.s. i hate housework. does anybody else hate housework?
p.s.s. damn the boys in need. i just feel obliged to help them all

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finally. i start work tommorow. something to fill the mindless hours of my lack of courage. it feels like lost years these last two months. i guess i'll see where it leaves me.

.the love of catharsis breeds confusion. .

. .i love the way i feel when i talk to you.

.merry-go-round..

..fairy-tale-land.

DOWN the rabbit hole.

there is a hole in my chest. black heart. hollow ribs. shadow's nest egg. like a cage bird. heavy and wicked. warped. twisted. tangled. nauseous and rotten. festering under its damp humid heavy rock. heavy rock after heavy rock upon lungs and ribs and the steady thump thump of a heart.

i masturbated four times yesterday. i could have had more orgasms too. (can we say hypomania.? i slept ok thou. or maybe it was the posting of naughty pictures. i wish i could say taking them didnt turn me on. but that would be a lie)
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this is such a lazy weekend. i keep saying i'm going to get up and actually do something....
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everything is just as it seems. no more. no less. i want to understand this push and pull of things in life. its complex, and altogether not sensible. i was thinking to myself how i am often drawn to those that want to remain free. if they want to remain free, i want to capture them. and vice versa. there are those that would puruse...
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