Friday Apr 22, 2005

0
I'm soooo angry and i can hardly contain myself.

i dont know why i'm angry
i'm just angry
angry
angry
angry
angry

its so much overwhelming energy that it scatters in fifte4en million different directions. all at the same mother fucking time.

i'm sick of myself more than anything.
and my lack of an ability to give myself anything in life
that i actually deserve.

The chains are still on me.
this week my horoscope said something about the chains coming off..

i just dont believe it. it feels like its fucking got my heart wrapped squezzed torniqueted so i can hardly fucking breathe.

i suppose psychologically,
i can't speak for myself.
but i really just dont think its depression.

and the worst part of all of this right now,
is that this stupid boy is coming over tonight..
and he wants to be all lovey dovey
and i JUST WANT TO SHUT HIM OUT

i dont know if its him
or me
or the fucking situation

and its not what i'm angry about.

i'm angry about existence.
that's what i'm angry about. puke

i apologize that this is ranting and venting.
but i need it. and SG is the one place i can let myself be whatever i want, and its OK. so thanks.
guitargeek:
Sounds like you need to talk to somebody. Venting is healthy.

So how did it work out with Mr. Lovey Dovey?
stellartrane:
I know how you feel. Infinite directions that only seem to travel in a circles. Hills and valleys, endless mundane cycles. Sometimes you just need a new direction, a new connection.

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