luxdivon

something i'm realizing about myself more than i knew:
people really shouldn't betray me or piss me off.
because the thing is:
i really don't care
tragically i am. indifferent.
and the way i see it. is if you cross me. or diss me. or flake me. or try to break me down.
all you'll get is your own feet falling to the ground. you're ass on the floor.
i realize i SHOULD be more forgiving
as i do some of these things..
flake.. i esp do this one.
but what it puts in my heart is,
VENGENCE. a horrid hateful feeling stirring deep inside, that after you betray me says
fuck you in the mouth
fuck you in the mouth, and shoot yourself twice.
just for me
just because i said so.
grovel
plead
show your true fucking colors
i mean those chameleon colors so you can convince the unconvinceable that YOU deserve another chance
i spit on you.
and then i ask you to taste the mother fucking saliva
do you catch my drift?
do you see the passion in my eyes
or maybe my panties?
am i to be the forgiver?
to falter from my porceline heart to give
you, and him, and her, and THAT another chance.
life is too short.
the road too fucking hard already.
and the motives never seen and never pretty
for me to think it's worth a damn.

no, i think not.
will vengence win?
or the soft mallable heart that yearns for the taste of compassion
there is nothing stronger than hate
there is nothing higher than love