luxdivon

so i saw that one boy again tonight. the voyeur. that i had told "5 hours a day, every three weeks, just isn't enough to keep a girl" and then after having my heart broken worse, by that other guy, seeing him again, didnt seem like the worst thing. and i'm proud of myself. because i didnt have sex. i didnt even kiss him. because he told me he got back together with his ex-girlfriend. apprarntly she's cool with shit, and they're not exclusive, or rather "that monogamy doesn't work" so i guess that's good for him. not to say i wasn't tempted. but that sure as hell aint my thing. that'd make me feel more like a whore, than i already felt. alas. feeling like a whore is all good, but only under the right circumstances. this not being one of them. so we didnt have sex, and he's going to go home and masturbate to my pictures. and i'm not even going to touch myself at all. cuz that's not my thing either. i'm not his most cherished posession. cherished maybe. and it was nice to see him again. i almost hope to do it again sometime. but when he said the words "you'll regret it" "life's short" i said in my head "too short to give your heart to someone that will never give it back to you. "i'll never regret it" is what i thought. will he? maybe.. and what i said was "a girl can get sex anyday of the week"
i'll save my masturbation sessions for the oh so lovely suicidegirls.