luxdivon

i try to love, and then my heart opens, and then falls apart and this is what comes out
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porceline bullet chest wound i've been trying to pull myself back together all day. did i let my resolve down? is that why this feels so much. i'm so many things. jealous. and in love. and lonely. and love sick for love like i havent wanted in such a long time. why you said the words to me 'i want to be with you' why did you have to say that among all things you could have said. i dont even know you. you're probably not that much. i've come up from down inside. i want to be held. held until the day after tommorow. yea you're passionate. passionate they say. well i am. i'm being passionate now. that's what i am. that's what you said i am. and that's what i am. dont be so surprized. have you not read the words don't open me up. don't open this up. and i know. i know you've been kind. and want only the best. and that makes me want to cry. dont tease yourself into this thinking that denial of temptation is. it either needs to be. or it doesnt. dont tease me with those kisses. just kiss me. you're confused. i'm confused. why so many times. you're doing it to again they say. i say. my heart hurts. my head is heavy. my lungs have fallen through the green golden earth into the recessess of the dark deep waters. i dont want you to read this. you can't read this. my porceline heart has shattered. i had no intention of jumping to these conclusions. i've tried resolutions but here i am. and that's how i feel. and i thought, oh this is nothing. those hours disapeared. like two voracious and wild. something deep and archaic and primal. and it raged. and poured itself out. and ravished until there could be no more ravishing. and then held like babies unafraid that this felt like home. why couldn't you have just let go sooner than i wished. i felt uncomfortable for knowing. i couldn't be back feelin' that way. i had to withhold those ounces within my soul that couldn't help but reach. i didnt ask them. but so far they reached. how could i feel so enticed.. cloud nine just feels so................ another day for not yet please.