luxdivon

i want lots of things. but what i really want. . .
is to be at your beck and call. to wear your necklace or your belt, or the collar you gave me around my neck. I want to be sleeping in a cage, if that's where you want me. i want to be denied, adored, bruised, pampered, and tied into more knots in more ways than one, about your very existence. i want to be idolized, or to idolize you and your very words, or voice, or hands, or lips, or arms, or the tongue on the insides of my thighs that has me so wrapped up, i know that i can only enjoy it, if you allow me to. i want to feel respected, and i want you to devalue me so i understand what value is in the first place. i want it to be that because of you, being less than what i could be, was a violation of my loyalty to you, and your upmost diligence to know what was good for me never failed. i want to make you dinner than feed you fork by fork, and eat the scraps on the ground, and stay hungry if i dont deserve more. and to gain my stay to lie beside you in your bed, and until then lay beside you on the cold hard floor. i want to be so sure of who i am, and where i'm going, that to everyone one else, it would seem, as if no one could own me. that i alone had power over my future destiny, with every imaginable dream could be put into reality, without any more thoughts ever of 'not being strong enough' and that no matter where i was, or who i was with, or what i was doing, you held the other half of why i breathe, and what i breathe for...
maybe i just want this today. maybe its just the fantasy in my head of such a strong bond and allegiance to a person, to their very existence that inspired this. maybe its that its come to a day and age where we should reveal our deepest desires as illogical or unreasonable as they are, to be revealed and reflected upon. and let it be as it is.