luxdivon

if only words could express through each quasi interaction i have with a flirting embrace, how each time it is so unnerving, it is destroying any chance of me EVER opening up again. i understand that people want to use you. i understand that they have more important things in their life than to pay attention to how their actions might affect someone other than themselves, i even understand how easily it is to deceive through the miscommunication of meeting words. i understand that part of me wants a man to fill long held emptiness no filled by eariler nurturing. i imagine this is why my fury and anger is so prounounced when yet again i have endevored to think twice of a passionate embrace on any deeper level than the physical. and not that i did, but every intimate exchange marks an impression upon the soul. what else to say. he doesnt have any idea what kind of fire he lit, and how easily i'm emotionally distraught. unfortunately for him, i dont give second chances. especially not for as passionate of an embrace as that had the potential of being. and how carelessly he thought of me afterward. i'm sure this is avid overexaggeration. but i'm fucking sick of it. so there's my proverbial scream. i was in desperate need of venting.

so much that i'm in that short denim skirt, plaid stockings, a black tank with a pink shirt, with too much makeup and my pretty blue bracelets. sitting here fuming. i'd like to thank the academy.
p.s. more dreams of near holocost visions just to make waking up at 5am that much more plesant.

on the creative side i've written part of a new song, that has that bjork sound. now i just need some dirty bass and drum and bass beats to hook it up.

Our dreams are keys to doors unseen
our truest life are our dreams awake
I dreamt of streams and of diving deep
Our truest dreams are in days unwasted

Release me,
release me from this preconception of adversity.
Reverse evolution, gross over analyzation, and sincere underappreciation for beautiful simplicity.....

that's all i got so far