luxdeadfrog

This is going to be one of those "you can't please every one all the time" posts, it was inspired by a good SG Member friend who has decided to go into a monogamous relationship and got mixed reaction when she broke the news to her "close friends". No, I was not one of her close friends, geography being the only reason as far as I am concerned but that of course doesn't take into account her scorecard on me. In my youth I may have tried to row the seven seas on the promise of a shag, I can still remember long ago walking six miles and not getting one, it was a very long, very dark and very painful walk home.

This is written from a male point of view after being shocked with the news that his girlfriend or casual sex partner now wants to change that friendship to p-p-p-p-p-platonic. I just now had a look at my list of SG friends to see if I was going to offend any of you, it's only a small and selective list as to me the word FRIEND means something and I'm not in any race to see who can be first to get the most. You are all on my list because there is something about you that I feel is admirable; it really is a coincidence that you all happen to be young and beautiful! I mean, I have requested friendship from older SG females but maybe they just don't trust me as I am not a member of the Geezers Group, I was a member for three days but have you seen the drivel they carry on with there? It's like afternoon tea break at the local "half price for pensioners bingo day", no thanks - I am quite happy to grow old disgracefully. I did request friendship from a male once as well; maybe I could have worded the request differently instead of:
"I stumbled across you on the Bla-bla-bla Group and think your style is superb, not to mention your ID logo. Well no actually, it's not that I even like you, I need a male friend on SG so as not to be accused of discrimination or homophobia or some other long word I don't even know the meaning of, so your name came out of the hat first, BASTARD!"

As for how guys react to that sort of news, well there are three schools of thought here that I am aware of:
One is that it can be too difficult to make a clean start if there hasn't been a clean break, so it's time to say goodbye. A lot of girls are shocked by this reaction and I have been accused of being selfish, I mean what else do you want from me? I tend to suffer from rejection so this is the one I would usually subscribe to; I really don't need to be reminded that another bear has stolen what was my honey pot. Only once have I had an office relationship and we shared an office, so after the split I could hear her making dates and weekend plans within earshot and it was so painful.

The second theory is that it is always the one who breaks if off that wants to stay friends and that is usually the female. Well yes that agrees with my experience too, it's a bit like a peace offering - you can no longer have your happy hunting grounds, but here is a nice reservation that I am sure will be good enough for you and you will still be able to watch others hunt there freely. Well thanks, but no thanks.

The third was best summed up by the late and very great Lenny Bruce when he said that guys who want to stay friends think there still has to be one more time, they refuse to believe that you will never want to shag them any more. Well I do believe you don't want to shag me anymore so excuse me if I don't keep sniffing around.

I hope I have stirred something up here and get some feedback, good or bad. A couple of you are doing post-graduate studies, there are some sexaholics, one has just ended a long term relationship, at least one is married, some are in casual relationships and I'm not even sure that some of you even include men as lovers, so I think between you all we have a good cross section of the SG community.

So, over to you,
Lux