10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
And on that note. Hi? Not much going on with me just posting to cover up a bitchy blog. Don't gotta read it, it's bitchy. Just me venting.
Have you guys seen Wolf? That old Jack Nicholson and Michelle (god i wanna fuck you) Pheifer? It's pretty damn good. After a night of watching all CSI we got it on demand. I nearly wet myself. Jack is a perfect werewolf. I mean he was creepy without the make up imagine how it was once he got into it
OK i'm off to bed. daddy is coming out tomorrow.
This picture was right before i graduated. I got really really sick for about a week to the point that i couldn't get our of bed and make it to the bathroom without dragging myself along the walls. Needless to say all that laying down and not being able to shower did wonders for my hair haha.
This was also shorly after i went blonde again.
I did modeling for an alternative wedding site once. A friend of mine was doing goth/alternative weddings and called me up one day and left this:
"Hey uh, we were wondering what you were doing on teh 26th because um we need a bride. We dont know who you will be marrying yet but we think he might be a model. Maybe. But give us a call back if you want to get married"
That site is still up at www.celebratus.com
And this is one of the few surviving photos of me with red hair. Which is a damn shame. Because you can't even see it. Also this is right before i cut my hair and went stop sign red. Damn i wish i had a picture of that instead i only have redhead pics of me in an amazing wig.
OH! BTW my mom made that dress for me by hand. It has 12 layers of netting under it and i hand embroidered the front of it.
Anyways, enjoy.
Wow i got bored there.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
And on that note. Hi? Not much going on with me just posting to cover up a bitchy blog. Don't gotta read it, it's bitchy. Just me venting.
Have you guys seen Wolf? That old Jack Nicholson and Michelle (god i wanna fuck you) Pheifer? It's pretty damn good. After a night of watching all CSI we got it on demand. I nearly wet myself. Jack is a perfect werewolf. I mean he was creepy without the make up imagine how it was once he got into it
OK i'm off to bed. daddy is coming out tomorrow.
This picture was right before i graduated. I got really really sick for about a week to the point that i couldn't get our of bed and make it to the bathroom without dragging myself along the walls. Needless to say all that laying down and not being able to shower did wonders for my hair haha.
This was also shorly after i went blonde again.
I did modeling for an alternative wedding site once. A friend of mine was doing goth/alternative weddings and called me up one day and left this:
"Hey uh, we were wondering what you were doing on teh 26th because um we need a bride. We dont know who you will be marrying yet but we think he might be a model. Maybe. But give us a call back if you want to get married"
That site is still up at www.celebratus.com
And this is one of the few surviving photos of me with red hair. Which is a damn shame. Because you can't even see it. Also this is right before i cut my hair and went stop sign red. Damn i wish i had a picture of that instead i only have redhead pics of me in an amazing wig.
OH! BTW my mom made that dress for me by hand. It has 12 layers of netting under it and i hand embroidered the front of it.
Anyways, enjoy.
Wow i got bored there.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
You look gorgeous in that red dress! I like the idea of a red wedding dress. It just seems so dishonest for most people women to wear white. At least men are off the hook: We get to wear funeral attire to weddings
BTW, I hope your surgery goes well