lurch83

NHRA east coast nationals are on this weekend. methanol madness. i can smell it already. sweet sweet aroma. not to mention we are going friday night and that is the best time to watch them.


now on to the problem i have. i have crawled back into my shell. and my shell makes me become a monster, and a heartless one at that. it's the time when if i don't leave my heart behind it will be destroyed. and i don't know who i can entrust with it. so basically my bike, my car and my mask are my best friends at the moment. i get to escape inwards. and fight a battle i've fought many times before. never won, never lost. just had both sides crawl off battered and bruised to fight again another time. this all began because of one thing done by someone i know last week. it hit a nerve that runs deep. very few things can make me wince, but the ones that do damn near drop me quicker than if i'd copped an overhand right from a pissed off mike tyson. and its not so much what is said but by whom it is said.

now i have no idea what i am to do. if i give a fuck about it then it kills me, and if i don't then effectively i kill off my own spirit.

it is both the bane and the core of my existence.