lurch83

i have come to the realisation recently that there are a few things that happened to me when i was three and four that have led to a lot of resentment on my part. i learnt at that young age that people are like toys. if you rip their arms off it all ok. nothing like that matters. they are only toys. so basically i am a first rate arse-hole. and yes it deserves a hyphen to exagerate my remark.

i developed a hatred of many things and as such deliberately missed out on a few coming of age initiations so to speak. i was acting over that age anyway. but not because it was the way i wanted to be. just because i was cautious of everything that could go wrong in the world. and more importantly my life.

that is the reason for not reall being able to leave comments. i have nothing worthy to say. i can't use anyone to advance my position in life. am i selfish? EXTREMELY! should i take responsibility for it? yes. am i bothered by it? at the moment not really. the other thing i learnt is to only trust yourself. letting people into your world only make it easier for them to hurt you. and fuck that. if you got troubles fix 'em yourself. don't accept help. and in my case, learn to live with yourself. to be alone most of the time is good. rarely is it otherwise!

in the words of tito larriva in "from dusk 'til dawn":


"FUCK YOU ALL, GOOD NIGHT!!!"