lurch83

i need a holiday, and below is the proof. it has to be done...if you don't want to here nonsense rant don't read on.

"I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stain of time
the feeling disappears
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way"

i used to write my own, but there are so many songs out there that give me shivers when i hear them that i don't bother anymore. i hate being in this rutt of life but trying to get out never works for me. sooner or laterthe wals in the way come crumbling down and i just walk on by. i hate not being able to get thoughts into words, and i hate not allowing myself to say what i need to, and i hate never being able to just talk to my friends about what's up. it's my pain and it's all for me. i don't want to burden anyone with it. sands of time...enemy of mine.

the three wise monkeys:
hear no evil
see no evil
speak no evil...

but thye need a fourth:
feel no evil.

rant complete.