andrew asked the question what is art/why do I make "it".
This question, as innocent as it may have been when asked, has not left my head.
There are things I haven't told you. I go out late at night.
I am an escapist.
How this relates to film is quite obvious. Music, not so much. Do you know what it takes for me to really like a song? When I listen to it, I have to be able to see myself as that performer. I have to see myself as that person playing that song for someone that I respect. Someone that I would want to impress. This has goten worse over the past year. My music listening, when alone, has become my escape. I'm a different person in a different room. I'm out of myself and I feel proud of my accomplishments. I've made my dad smile at the song i wrote. I made that girl fall in love with me when i sang it into her eyes at the concert. This was after I called her up to the front row. Those friends that have taught me so much, musicly and personaly, they are blown away. I feel part of it.
Why do I make it?
I make music to push my brain in directions it's never gone before. Everytime i work on something, really WORK (shut out everything else, loose 4 hours in the blink of an eye)I feel connected. It makes me think of Jung's collective unconciouss. When I make something, out of nothing, i feel tapped into this bank of global creativity. For some, this fluid knowledge flows in. For others it trickes. For me? I feel like i can see it, understand it, but it never enters me. I can play with it's ideas, change idea's around on a very remedial, but nonetheless creative way. The kicker is, I never feel like i'm doing something more than toying around with someone else's idea's.
You may think that my "global music think tank" idea is lame. I think it's a nice picture to paint of it. What it really is is how affected we are by our surroundings. Trends, pop and underground alike, and subconscious undercurrents that i don't think we're aware of. In every new sounds there's a trace of what's to come. Or, possibly, since everything seems to be repeating right now,some are good a predicting what is going to be the "new" by observing the way trends played out in the past. example. what happened after the whole 80's pop nightmare? grunge, right? what's hot now? 80's revival electro shit right? how close is some of the break-through indie-rock of now to the early days of NorthWest U.S. rock? I may have lost my thought on this. I need to wrap up.
I also need to stop escaping.
I've considered starting a music journal this summer. Good old pen and paper. Jot down notes on the bus of what it is I really like about so and so's song. What is it about this song that hits me so? What makes it what it is? I need to stop playing around. I need to take inventory of my balls, and put it out there.
When I played bassoon, I felt IN it. My first semester we played the great Organ Symphony by saint-saens. This was the first time i played contrabassoon. To give you an idea, the lowest note on the contra is a B-flat, the last black key on an 88 key piano. When you play it, your entire body vibrates. So here I am, this little (big) freshman, placed into the highest performing group northern illinois had to offer, and i'm playing contra bassoon, a dream of mine since childhood (i've wanted to play bassoon since i saw peter play it on my 3 sons. I thought it looked awesome), and I'm playing one of the most moveing french-romantic pieces ever written. I'm sitting in front of the french horns and trumpets. I'm playing this 24 foot long piece of $40,000 wood, my whole body shaking, and everything turns into one....thought. 100 or so people became one. It was the most amazing feeling i've ever felt. I've never found it agian.
That feeling is what I make music for. When I listen to other peoples music, I look for a trace of that feeling in their playing.
I want the thoughts to flow into me. I want other people to be a part of that. I want to play loud, have everything work, let the world fall away.
So then, a goal: escape into my own abilities.
This question, as innocent as it may have been when asked, has not left my head.
There are things I haven't told you. I go out late at night.
I am an escapist.
How this relates to film is quite obvious. Music, not so much. Do you know what it takes for me to really like a song? When I listen to it, I have to be able to see myself as that performer. I have to see myself as that person playing that song for someone that I respect. Someone that I would want to impress. This has goten worse over the past year. My music listening, when alone, has become my escape. I'm a different person in a different room. I'm out of myself and I feel proud of my accomplishments. I've made my dad smile at the song i wrote. I made that girl fall in love with me when i sang it into her eyes at the concert. This was after I called her up to the front row. Those friends that have taught me so much, musicly and personaly, they are blown away. I feel part of it.
Why do I make it?
I make music to push my brain in directions it's never gone before. Everytime i work on something, really WORK (shut out everything else, loose 4 hours in the blink of an eye)I feel connected. It makes me think of Jung's collective unconciouss. When I make something, out of nothing, i feel tapped into this bank of global creativity. For some, this fluid knowledge flows in. For others it trickes. For me? I feel like i can see it, understand it, but it never enters me. I can play with it's ideas, change idea's around on a very remedial, but nonetheless creative way. The kicker is, I never feel like i'm doing something more than toying around with someone else's idea's.
You may think that my "global music think tank" idea is lame. I think it's a nice picture to paint of it. What it really is is how affected we are by our surroundings. Trends, pop and underground alike, and subconscious undercurrents that i don't think we're aware of. In every new sounds there's a trace of what's to come. Or, possibly, since everything seems to be repeating right now,some are good a predicting what is going to be the "new" by observing the way trends played out in the past. example. what happened after the whole 80's pop nightmare? grunge, right? what's hot now? 80's revival electro shit right? how close is some of the break-through indie-rock of now to the early days of NorthWest U.S. rock? I may have lost my thought on this. I need to wrap up.
I also need to stop escaping.
I've considered starting a music journal this summer. Good old pen and paper. Jot down notes on the bus of what it is I really like about so and so's song. What is it about this song that hits me so? What makes it what it is? I need to stop playing around. I need to take inventory of my balls, and put it out there.
When I played bassoon, I felt IN it. My first semester we played the great Organ Symphony by saint-saens. This was the first time i played contrabassoon. To give you an idea, the lowest note on the contra is a B-flat, the last black key on an 88 key piano. When you play it, your entire body vibrates. So here I am, this little (big) freshman, placed into the highest performing group northern illinois had to offer, and i'm playing contra bassoon, a dream of mine since childhood (i've wanted to play bassoon since i saw peter play it on my 3 sons. I thought it looked awesome), and I'm playing one of the most moveing french-romantic pieces ever written. I'm sitting in front of the french horns and trumpets. I'm playing this 24 foot long piece of $40,000 wood, my whole body shaking, and everything turns into one....thought. 100 or so people became one. It was the most amazing feeling i've ever felt. I've never found it agian.
That feeling is what I make music for. When I listen to other peoples music, I look for a trace of that feeling in their playing.
I want the thoughts to flow into me. I want other people to be a part of that. I want to play loud, have everything work, let the world fall away.
So then, a goal: escape into my own abilities.