well yes there is a lot more than hmm...
im living in austin now
its great
i love it here
ive met a lot of wonderful women
...but
ive run into an ex boyfriend who i dated ten years ago in mexico, was going to marry, and spend the rest of my life with, but didnt because i was too young. so i left mexico, and him and always thought i would go back to mexico and go looking for him. actually- i had a plan to do that, , , was going to leave april first...but, now ive found him living here, in austin, and its really really weird. us.we.this relationship is really weird. he is a tattoo artist, tattooing my whole left arm- its really big.
heheh...cant stop thinking about him- day and night, but i think its sparks from 10 years ago- i cant still be with him, he is married, and has a baby. hes not opposed to an affair, but i am. he is jealous, and possessive and nosy about my life and my love life... he isnt my type anymore (i dont even date men anymore!)- and yes, im finding myself wanting, aching, and attracted to him. and yet... i know its wrong and i need to move on and forget about it. its really hard to do when he calls me at 3 am to take him home.
yeah, it makes me mad, i wanna be his friend, no benefits no sex no kisses no lovemaking no attraction... but thats really really hard to do. why am i atracted to a jealous, possessive, cheating/unfaithful bad boy??? whats missing in my life tht i feel the neeed to suppliment me with him? why why why why why why.
the other night i had a long talk with him, told him exactly how i felt, and that he needed to stop calling me 5 times a day/night to hang out and hook up. i explained to him that if he loved me, and really cared about me, then he would leave me alone and show some respect to me and his wife and family. he hopefully took it to heart. we'll see.....
im living in austin now
its great
i love it here
ive met a lot of wonderful women
...but
ive run into an ex boyfriend who i dated ten years ago in mexico, was going to marry, and spend the rest of my life with, but didnt because i was too young. so i left mexico, and him and always thought i would go back to mexico and go looking for him. actually- i had a plan to do that, , , was going to leave april first...but, now ive found him living here, in austin, and its really really weird. us.we.this relationship is really weird. he is a tattoo artist, tattooing my whole left arm- its really big.
heheh...cant stop thinking about him- day and night, but i think its sparks from 10 years ago- i cant still be with him, he is married, and has a baby. hes not opposed to an affair, but i am. he is jealous, and possessive and nosy about my life and my love life... he isnt my type anymore (i dont even date men anymore!)- and yes, im finding myself wanting, aching, and attracted to him. and yet... i know its wrong and i need to move on and forget about it. its really hard to do when he calls me at 3 am to take him home.
yeah, it makes me mad, i wanna be his friend, no benefits no sex no kisses no lovemaking no attraction... but thats really really hard to do. why am i atracted to a jealous, possessive, cheating/unfaithful bad boy??? whats missing in my life tht i feel the neeed to suppliment me with him? why why why why why why.
the other night i had a long talk with him, told him exactly how i felt, and that he needed to stop calling me 5 times a day/night to hang out and hook up. i explained to him that if he loved me, and really cared about me, then he would leave me alone and show some respect to me and his wife and family. he hopefully took it to heart. we'll see.....
But, after reading your journal, I want to say please be careful, emotionally & physically. My aunt's husband was a jealous, possessive bad boy, who called her continuously, compulsively when she tried to break it off. She put a restraining order on him. He came by, held her hostage, shot her in the head, killing her, and then killed himself.
His family wanted to bury him next to her. "He really loved her!" they said.
Okay, so maybe it's stupid bringing that up. But I never thought it would happen, or that he could do that. It's only been a year and a half but it stilll seems unbelievable.
So, probably stupid, probably not a thing to do with your situation, but be careful, please?
Best of luck Dear and keep us posted