lulumae

I feel sick.

I think I'm just overtired. And depressed. And feeling a little overwhelmed by life. And very very tired of trying to find things to wear to work every single night.

Not much excitement today- went grocery shopping, went to the bank, got some oil for Lydia, rented some DVD's that I shouldn't watch because I should be reading for school instead but probably will watch because after I get home at 3 am the last thing I want to do is read about the different ideologies in the field of Social Work.

I gave the dog a pig ear which is probably the most disgusting thing I've ever seen BUT... BUT... she appears to be keeping herself busy. Thank the Lord.

I miss seeing my Bettina. We need to book a show soon so we can feel super and fabulous.

I have only one question for the day. How come, in high school, it felt like everything was such a big deal, and everything stressed me out, and I was always tired, and I figured that it would get easier once I was a bit older. Then when I was in my early twenties, everything was stressful and depressing and scary and dark. But I thought that maybe once I learned more about myself, that it would get easier. Now I'm exactly in the middle of my twenties, and things feel about as scary and dark and depressing and so fucking complicated as I feel like I could ever handle... so my question is this.

Does it just keep getting fucking WORSE??

Ugh. I think I just need to regain a bit of normalcy.

Is that how you spell "normalcy"? That just looks wrong.

XOX-L

"Darling I hope
that my dream never haunted you.
My heart is telling you
how much I wanted you.
Gloomy Sunday."
-B. Holiday