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lulumae

Canada

SG Since 2003

Followers 379 Following 40

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Monday Sep 29, 2003

Sep 29, 2003
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I. Hate. School.

University is just high school all over again- soul-less elitist fucks competing for the best grades so that they can graduate four years later, $20 000 in debt and working for Starbucks.

I give up giving a rat's ass about these people. I tried. I smile and try and make friends, but no one will give me the goddamn time of day. I'm 23, and I feel like I'm in grade 8 all over again! I mean, there has GOT to be a correlation between the fact that I'm one month into full time school and my self-confidence has almost reached an all time low... it being down there with my self-confidence in grade 8, of course.

All I've gotten out of university so far is the plague. I miss two days worth of classes, I'm sick for a week and it's like I'm so far behind I might as well resign to a couple of C-minuses. It shouldn't be like this! It's all just jumping through hoops... I'm not learning a goddamn thing!

And to think that if I want to be a professional... if I want to actually achieve a degree in the thing that I'm passionate about... I have to put up with these people for another 5 some-odd years? No thank-you. I might as well just extract my own soul right now and throw it on top of the stinking fucking pile.

I'd just like to add the fact that I've also reached the realization that I am an absolutely fucking miserable person to be around when I'm this stressed out. And as long as I'm in full time school, I AM going to be this stressed out. All I do is eat (a lot. Hmm.), sleep, stress-out, blow my nose, cough, work, and do the occassional bit of homework when there's time left over.

THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.

I have to go. I have class.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
ophelia:
It was great to see you last night, sweetie kiss
Try to stay positive. I avoid school as much as possible - go in for my classes, run out again before anyone talks to me. That way I can try to convince myself that really they'd be good people if I just talked to them.
Oct 2, 2003
leightsy:
That's kinda why I didn't go back.
:hugs & kisses: to ya.. be happy...Come to my party on Saturday.. fuck school, bring a friend or two, get on the ferrie and come to Van. It's a little SGVan gathering.
biggrin
Oct 2, 2003

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