lulumae

Ever have a really great day, and then in about two minutes, it all goes to shit with one little event that wouldn't have even happened if you hadn't tempted fate, and you feel like you have split personalities because you're in such a goddamned FOUL mood that you can't possibly be the same person you were just a couple minutes ago? Why can't I just be the person I want to be? Instead, I'm this pissy, bitter, angry, frustrated and depressed version of myself. And I wish I was one of those strong people who can just snap themselves out of this mood, but I'm not. And I apparently never will be. What it comes down to is that I'm just angry that I have no one to blame for my life but myself. It's all my fault. Therefore I'm just enraged with my own self. And there's no escaping me.

I hope these journals aren't supposed to be fluffy and happy.

Now I'm going to go take my bad mood to the pub. I'm going to listen to a couple bands, get a little drunk, and then just see if that helps. I can't change my loser self, but I certainly can sedate her.