luky

I try to keep things light on here, though I've had to vent about some of the computer crap going on. But, what the fuck, man? My life these days just keeps going from bad to worse, then from worse to more worse. Computers, being screwed over by someone who was supposedly a friend, identity theft, money issues in spite of getting on top of the bank accounts right away and not losing much to hackers in that way. Car trouble with both our cars. Going to have to replace the computers, looks like, the same ones I just replaced a year ago when our house was robbed. A paycheck got lost in limbo because my direct deposit form work got misplaced, so a mortgage payment hasn't been made, other loan payments haven't been paid, bills.... And none of it's my fault, but so what? Mortgage company could care less about that. One screwed up paycheck and now my chance to refinance may be down the drain, my credit score--already on a downhill slide--just tanked.
School, butting heads with my department chair before the semester even starts because I've been here longer than her, and I knew something she was "not willing to support" concerning me personally was against our benefits policy and union rules, and I had the balls (audacity, in her way of thinking) to call her on it. Had to take the second day of classes off because Neo was sick, and I was afraid to leave him alone. Dept. Chair is loving throwing that one at me. I thought my husband needed to go to the emergency room, but does she care?
Neo, having some health issues, though he is much better. Me--having all kinds of issues in every possible direction, and I am not better. It's just not letting up. One pile of stuff, then another pile of stuff, then another big honking, steaming pile of something else....
I'm a decent person. I am not confrontational unless I'm pushed into being confrontational, then, yes, I'll stand my ground. Usually, I prefer to talk it through. I don't just let it go, but I choose what I think is the best way to deal with it.
Conversation about God the other day, and I said I believed in a God, that I needed to believe in a God so I could have someone to blame for all this ongoing shit. When your own mother sighs and tells you, "You have been the unluckiest person I've every known. Always were. Even when you were a kid."
What hope is there? I'm about used up. No place to turn, no end of all this in sight. The unluckiest person my mother has ever known is about to hit the wall with all this. Spent hours working on redoing online accounts on a secure computer, jotted down passwords--and the one piece of paper--the one piece out of tons of paper in my household--is where one of the cats chooses to puke when I finally made it to bed that night.
Yep---that about sums it up. That's my luck. It's comical and ridiculous, and I've been able to deal with it with my tongue lodged in my cheek most of my life. Now, though--all has gone way beyond ridiculous into absurd and just plain cruel. "Life's tough." I know, I know. I've been dealing with that one for 49 years now.
I am tired of it. I won't do anything drastic, so don't worry about that. Too many people and pets depending upon me for me to even think about desperate acts.
But shit, man. I mean what...the...fuck?!?!