Rough few days. Hard conversations. Ended all the dating I was doing. Very single now. Looking at the plans. Scrapping them. Making new ones. For years I've been struggling with the following question:
How can you know what is going on in the world, all the horrible things that happen minute by minute, how can a person be aware of that, and still go on about their life smiling and happy? I haven't been able to for years. It's an unavoidable question for me and it's been sucking me dry. A simple thing like working and maintaining a residence is enough to make one part of the problem. How can I know where my taxes go....and yet still pay taxes? The poorest of us lives in splendour compared to the majority of the world.
I do believe that it is time to put up or shut up.
Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity - Horace Mann
God Damn Right.
How can you know what is going on in the world, all the horrible things that happen minute by minute, how can a person be aware of that, and still go on about their life smiling and happy? I haven't been able to for years. It's an unavoidable question for me and it's been sucking me dry. A simple thing like working and maintaining a residence is enough to make one part of the problem. How can I know where my taxes go....and yet still pay taxes? The poorest of us lives in splendour compared to the majority of the world.
I do believe that it is time to put up or shut up.
Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity - Horace Mann
God Damn Right.
Plans are only plans until they're executed. Never stop making plans.
The poorest amongst us...I aspire to make a life that is meager in appearance (at least to those far wealthier than I) but through time spend volunteering, exercising, fucking, reading, feeling my oats...have a life far richer than those with material wealth. Paying taxes pays for schools, roads, public assistance, along with all of the evil bits...I choose to continue supporting all the good things that my money buys. The bad things are unavoidable, seeing as how I'm not in political power. The good things, though, are still necessary.
Also, I'm drunk on a variety of liquors right now. Coherence...not my strong suit.
I change my mind all the time, once I decide something is a good idea I build a plan around it until something trivial will steer me in a different direction.
I hate being locked into situations, such as apartment leases & graduation plans.
Some of my best experiences have come from spur of the moment snap decisions; leaving home, moving out of my first apartment, going to England, going to Portland, even visiting my grandparents for a weekend. All of these things were the result of seized opportunities, only those involving plane tickets involved more than two days worth of planning. Having the feeling of freedom, that the things I am doing were not part of some drawn out well thought plan, makes me happy.
I'm starting to learn that I can't make plans for myself, because breaking and changing them makes me too sad. I find it best to have general ideas and to make the decisions quickly and only when necessary.
Spontaneity makes me happy.