lukebunny

It's true. I did. It happens. Frequently. I am a horrible dishonest shit stain of a man. Things are good. If a little weird and confusing. I am poor to the point of having to sell bits of myself again. Phone, car insurance, power bill, rent.....all over due. I think it's time to straighten this garbage out once and for all. Time to wear big kid undies. Pull ups. Have to wipe my own ass. This is ok. It's good. Really. Jessica is great. The same horrible cunt I remember. She has certainly changed for the worse in some ways. For the better in some others. I guess we'll see where this all takes us. We've had some fights. We have not had sex. (Not for lack of trying on my part....) Mostly we seem to get along ok. I find myself feeling inadequate and not being able to measure up to her friends from Fargo because I do not have a party or bar to take her to every night of the week. My kind of fun is not that kind of fun. She tells me she enjoys it here. But, she is also a horrid lying bitch pussy face. Once she finds her way into the shitty equivelant of the fargo scene here she should be happier. There are plenty of stupid trendy bars for her to frequent, and annoying ugly boys for her to fondle.

I'm staying here. I am going to get a real job I think. One where I sweat. Not on my back. One where I am delierous form lack of food stuff and my body is carved from wood. It's funny to me. When I was younger and all the kids in first grade with me were going through the career crisis, changing their minds about what they wanted to do, I just ignored it. "I wanna be a fireman! I wanna be an astronaught!" they said. I always thought I would be happy being a janitor somewhere. Left alone to do my work. Make enough money to keep my head above water. Be a completely unremarkable, invisible drifter. Now......I change my mind more often than my clothes. My crisis came 15 years late. Fuck. What do I do next??