The More I Get Rid Of Materialistically, The More I Gain Individually! <3
Thank you So Much for all the love I received with my last blog! I was actually surprised that so many of you took the time to give me a few words of encouragement, and it means THE WORLD to me! <3
After a very long struggle, I feel like I'm finally starting to become myself again! YAAYY!
For so long I would ask myself what was wrong with me. This turned into me having to take a step back. Observing what what going on around me, what I was doing in the world I threw myself in...asking if this was the way I was suppose to be living.
It seems to me that we are in a time where we are the most connected we have ever been, technologically, yet lonelier than ever... its quite sad, and I don't want to live a sad life...
Going out the the bar, on the call of my friends. Working to buy more shit , that I clearly don't need, with money I did not have, so that I could impress people that weren't even worth my time... For years this was the cycle I felt that I couldn't escape- A fucking Rat race!...
Getting drunk... sometimes wasted, because I was trying to keep up with my friends. Hurting my body, sometimes to the point to where I'd have to puke up the poisons I'd consume just to return to a state of homeostasis.
My friendships started turning into means for escapism, instead of just hanging out, kicking back, playing video games, going exploring, learning new things together, having regular debate, and helping each other solve whatever problems we had.
I miss the good old days, and want more like those!
All I can say is That's some old bullshit! Fuck that! I don't give a fuck about what anyone has to say about me anymore... I'm done pretending.
Life is beautiful, and I'm finally ready to truly embrace it for what it has the potential to be.
So, I've decided that I must remove a few things from my life.
No more going to bars for me... eff that shit.
I've been throwing away a lot of the things I used to hold on to... the way I see it, you are not what you own.
You are what's in your fucking heart, mind, and body.
I might even give up smoking pot for a little while. I've already gone a week and a half without it.
I'm going to let my hair grow out naturally. No more perming it. Before I permed it, it grew long, strong and beautifully. When After I started perming it, it basically stayed the same length... which is pissing me off. So I'm going to fully embrace my natural beauty.
No more junk food. I had 50% chocolate last week- enough to equal the amount of sugar in two pop cans, and my face fucking freaked out! Unless its natural sugar, honey, or Demerara Brown sugar, I can't ingest it... I'm allergic to it. I'm going to have to be REALLY strong to resist the shit that's out on the streets now and days.
I'm going to have to cut my general friend list down as well... Let's face it. Most people I call my friends, I know nothing about, and I quite frankly don't want to associate myself with anyone unless they have good positive energy, and have a clear head on their shoulders. I'm not looking to get dragged down a spiral staircase of problems- No Drama, please!
I've even gotten rid of my SG facebook page, and am seriously considering getting rid of my personal facebook as well. The only thing I want, associated with social networking is Tumblr <3 .
I'm going back to the homeland next week for a month. Going to spend some time with my family and good friends. Then I'm going somewhere far away to work, make more money then go live somewhere even further away. I'm really excited to get these plans under way. Whoooo!
I've had a few moments of serenity, Had some time to think my life through, time to heal myself, let go of the past, and forgive. I had a nice break from everything for the past two months and I have learned a lot!
I'm also shrinking!
When I first moved here in January I was 35 inches around my waist, now I'm 32.5 inches around my waist. Wow!
I can't wait for it to get just a bit warmer, so that I can become more active, and go exploring again!
When I move out west, I'll be situated just north of a salt lake, so I intend to spend as many day trips over there with my boyfriend, our bikes, some wholesome food, our cameras, and open minds.
I feel a personal revelation happening within myself. I will never doubt myself again. I've engraved my mantra deep within my heart, and every time I feel self doubt, I will recite my mantra, and draw forth courage from my secret light source.
I am a child of the earth, not western society! I need never forget that.
I recently discovered Chi/ Ki/ Qui.
The energies of both the earth which are food, and water, and of the heavens, which is air, or oxygen. I'm going to work on cultivating and developing this energy positively, so that I can give goodness back to those who have shown me nothing but kindness.
I'm also going to continue to explore music, as well as explore the depths of my mind through music! (:
I cannot wait for the summer so I can do this again
Annndd.... I think One Piece has taken over my mind! I can't seem to get enough of Zoro... He's just too epic!
Actually, All of the Strawhats are Sooo Bad Ass!
It is creepy how well I can relate One Piece to real life. How the roles of good and evil are twisted. The "bad guys" are the heroes of the show, while the institutions such as the Navy and World Government are just messed!
-----------------------------------------------------------
I, and only I have the power to change my life.
The way I laugh,
The way communicate my imprint;
Expression of life
A deep rooted will- Growing of sakura
Where knowledge sits in harbor
Awaiting the command of its creator
This is when I will rise!
Nothing to hold back
Wisdom and beauty;
I combine the two in combat.
Nothing can stop me now.
Residing within me is an inevitable strength.
One that has overcome the struggling.
I've studied your moves
Can predict your wishes, within that wicked heart.
With this next attack, you will be defeated;
Oh fear-Death of progress.
Take heed, for I will show no mercy.
How dare you threaten my existence.
Nullify the only true happiness I can derive.
This is a fight for Freedom;
Here I come!
----------------------------------
Much Love!
And Thank you again! It really means a lot to me, all the love I continue to receive from you all!
Lots of
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Luffy
Thank you So Much for all the love I received with my last blog! I was actually surprised that so many of you took the time to give me a few words of encouragement, and it means THE WORLD to me! <3
After a very long struggle, I feel like I'm finally starting to become myself again! YAAYY!
For so long I would ask myself what was wrong with me. This turned into me having to take a step back. Observing what what going on around me, what I was doing in the world I threw myself in...asking if this was the way I was suppose to be living.
It seems to me that we are in a time where we are the most connected we have ever been, technologically, yet lonelier than ever... its quite sad, and I don't want to live a sad life...
Going out the the bar, on the call of my friends. Working to buy more shit , that I clearly don't need, with money I did not have, so that I could impress people that weren't even worth my time... For years this was the cycle I felt that I couldn't escape- A fucking Rat race!...
Getting drunk... sometimes wasted, because I was trying to keep up with my friends. Hurting my body, sometimes to the point to where I'd have to puke up the poisons I'd consume just to return to a state of homeostasis.
My friendships started turning into means for escapism, instead of just hanging out, kicking back, playing video games, going exploring, learning new things together, having regular debate, and helping each other solve whatever problems we had.
I miss the good old days, and want more like those!
All I can say is That's some old bullshit! Fuck that! I don't give a fuck about what anyone has to say about me anymore... I'm done pretending.
Life is beautiful, and I'm finally ready to truly embrace it for what it has the potential to be.
So, I've decided that I must remove a few things from my life.
No more going to bars for me... eff that shit.
I've been throwing away a lot of the things I used to hold on to... the way I see it, you are not what you own.
You are what's in your fucking heart, mind, and body.
I might even give up smoking pot for a little while. I've already gone a week and a half without it.
I'm going to let my hair grow out naturally. No more perming it. Before I permed it, it grew long, strong and beautifully. When After I started perming it, it basically stayed the same length... which is pissing me off. So I'm going to fully embrace my natural beauty.
No more junk food. I had 50% chocolate last week- enough to equal the amount of sugar in two pop cans, and my face fucking freaked out! Unless its natural sugar, honey, or Demerara Brown sugar, I can't ingest it... I'm allergic to it. I'm going to have to be REALLY strong to resist the shit that's out on the streets now and days.
I'm going to have to cut my general friend list down as well... Let's face it. Most people I call my friends, I know nothing about, and I quite frankly don't want to associate myself with anyone unless they have good positive energy, and have a clear head on their shoulders. I'm not looking to get dragged down a spiral staircase of problems- No Drama, please!
I've even gotten rid of my SG facebook page, and am seriously considering getting rid of my personal facebook as well. The only thing I want, associated with social networking is Tumblr <3 .
I'm going back to the homeland next week for a month. Going to spend some time with my family and good friends. Then I'm going somewhere far away to work, make more money then go live somewhere even further away. I'm really excited to get these plans under way. Whoooo!
I've had a few moments of serenity, Had some time to think my life through, time to heal myself, let go of the past, and forgive. I had a nice break from everything for the past two months and I have learned a lot!
I'm also shrinking!
When I first moved here in January I was 35 inches around my waist, now I'm 32.5 inches around my waist. Wow!
I can't wait for it to get just a bit warmer, so that I can become more active, and go exploring again!
When I move out west, I'll be situated just north of a salt lake, so I intend to spend as many day trips over there with my boyfriend, our bikes, some wholesome food, our cameras, and open minds.
I feel a personal revelation happening within myself. I will never doubt myself again. I've engraved my mantra deep within my heart, and every time I feel self doubt, I will recite my mantra, and draw forth courage from my secret light source.
I am a child of the earth, not western society! I need never forget that.
I recently discovered Chi/ Ki/ Qui.
The energies of both the earth which are food, and water, and of the heavens, which is air, or oxygen. I'm going to work on cultivating and developing this energy positively, so that I can give goodness back to those who have shown me nothing but kindness.
I'm also going to continue to explore music, as well as explore the depths of my mind through music! (:
I cannot wait for the summer so I can do this again
Annndd.... I think One Piece has taken over my mind! I can't seem to get enough of Zoro... He's just too epic!
Actually, All of the Strawhats are Sooo Bad Ass!
It is creepy how well I can relate One Piece to real life. How the roles of good and evil are twisted. The "bad guys" are the heroes of the show, while the institutions such as the Navy and World Government are just messed!
-----------------------------------------------------------
I, and only I have the power to change my life.
The way I laugh,
The way communicate my imprint;
Expression of life
A deep rooted will- Growing of sakura
Where knowledge sits in harbor
Awaiting the command of its creator
This is when I will rise!
Nothing to hold back
Wisdom and beauty;
I combine the two in combat.
Nothing can stop me now.
Residing within me is an inevitable strength.
One that has overcome the struggling.
I've studied your moves
Can predict your wishes, within that wicked heart.
With this next attack, you will be defeated;
Oh fear-Death of progress.
Take heed, for I will show no mercy.
How dare you threaten my existence.
Nullify the only true happiness I can derive.
This is a fight for Freedom;
Here I come!
----------------------------------
Much Love!
And Thank you again! It really means a lot to me, all the love I continue to receive from you all!
Lots of
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Luffy
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
This question has been made like.. forever, I know, but, how do you realize when you're in love?
I'm just curious a little bit, considerating that I spent five years of my life being married...