Before I post my weekend up here, I just wanted to say that
I think I've forgotten a part of myself. I only just realized, because with the experiences I've been able to have so far this weekend, I feel something I haven't felt in a long time.
I feel like I've just been let go from the support of my training wheels, and I can feel the wind in between my hair, my laughter, my sense of adventure guiding me gently.
I'm so glad that I've picked up this independent feeling. A sense of self that I used to have when I was 16 and didn't care about boys, parties... anything really. How much would it cost to go back to those days? Some discipline maybe? I already know that drinking is pointless, so that shouldn't be too hard to get rid of. But from what I've seen around me, life with the opposite sex just seems to get more and more complicated the older you get... that's a scary thought!
Think about it... When you're young you either idealize love from what you 'think' you see around you, and end up preparing for disappointment... which is better or worse than marriage ends up being for some... OR you start off fresh off the bench, just eager to get a home run at some point... even if its rushed, even if you have to go about lying or stealing a base or two to get to home plate. That's okay, depending on how careful you are, but eventually, most people end up marrying someone. Yes, that does sound lovely, but it also sounds like the scariest thing I've heard of to date. This obviously doesn't happen to everyone... I'm using ignorant generalizations...sorry. I just think trying to specify more than I have would waste more room on here... that's all.
I'm always reminded of how I want to stay by myself when I'm older at some point or another. Until someone can prove this individualist wrong, I'm going to stand by my conviction, knowing that I'm the only person in this world who can control if I'm happy or not.
I only want to give and receive hugs from myself right now.
I want to sharpen my wit, adjust my wings, prepare for the next battle I'll encounter.
I can feel it coming, and I want to face it head on... no matter what it is
I'm not bashing anything, and I'm not saying I don't ever want to marry. I am just clearly not ready for anything of that sort. I still have a lot of catching up to do with myself before I can even try imagining something like that.
I had the pleasure of seeing, actually hanging out with a famous pop surrealist from Vancouver... I think we are friends
and she indirectly showed me that I need to find the best way of living past my existence to connect that to something with meaning, then I can worry about trying to connect with the rest of the world.
If you're passionate enough about what you're doing or have set your heart on, it won't be hard to get other people as pumped as you are about life, the different perspectives we all carry, and to get other people to believe in themselves enough to do what they want to do with confidence and love.
I think I've forgotten a part of myself. I only just realized, because with the experiences I've been able to have so far this weekend, I feel something I haven't felt in a long time.
I feel like I've just been let go from the support of my training wheels, and I can feel the wind in between my hair, my laughter, my sense of adventure guiding me gently.
I'm so glad that I've picked up this independent feeling. A sense of self that I used to have when I was 16 and didn't care about boys, parties... anything really. How much would it cost to go back to those days? Some discipline maybe? I already know that drinking is pointless, so that shouldn't be too hard to get rid of. But from what I've seen around me, life with the opposite sex just seems to get more and more complicated the older you get... that's a scary thought!
Think about it... When you're young you either idealize love from what you 'think' you see around you, and end up preparing for disappointment... which is better or worse than marriage ends up being for some... OR you start off fresh off the bench, just eager to get a home run at some point... even if its rushed, even if you have to go about lying or stealing a base or two to get to home plate. That's okay, depending on how careful you are, but eventually, most people end up marrying someone. Yes, that does sound lovely, but it also sounds like the scariest thing I've heard of to date. This obviously doesn't happen to everyone... I'm using ignorant generalizations...sorry. I just think trying to specify more than I have would waste more room on here... that's all.
I'm always reminded of how I want to stay by myself when I'm older at some point or another. Until someone can prove this individualist wrong, I'm going to stand by my conviction, knowing that I'm the only person in this world who can control if I'm happy or not.
I only want to give and receive hugs from myself right now.
I want to sharpen my wit, adjust my wings, prepare for the next battle I'll encounter.
I can feel it coming, and I want to face it head on... no matter what it is
I'm not bashing anything, and I'm not saying I don't ever want to marry. I am just clearly not ready for anything of that sort. I still have a lot of catching up to do with myself before I can even try imagining something like that.
I had the pleasure of seeing, actually hanging out with a famous pop surrealist from Vancouver... I think we are friends
and she indirectly showed me that I need to find the best way of living past my existence to connect that to something with meaning, then I can worry about trying to connect with the rest of the world.
If you're passionate enough about what you're doing or have set your heart on, it won't be hard to get other people as pumped as you are about life, the different perspectives we all carry, and to get other people to believe in themselves enough to do what they want to do with confidence and love.
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kisses!