Feb 23 2020
This is № 3 in my ever more boring series of posts on my what-I-call artificially induced late onset puberty.
Physical effects; The two - tiredness. I’m coping a little better with this than I was, it’s not much worse than my normal drugs cause. Breast tenderness – ongoing, I now have some better fitting bras, and they’re great, but they do hurt more 😊.
Mental effects; The same as before, but trouble gaiting emotions, and the depression coming from that, is becoming unbearable. I’m not helped by my pretty much lifelong lack of self-esteem and terrible fear of rejection. Last night I was supposed to go out for coffee with my friend Sheila (this would be the third time I’ve been out in 17 years), and when I got to Tim Horton’s I got a text to say that she’d be late. I sat in the car for two hours, and when she arrived discovered that the place had closed, so we drove somewhere else. I’d spent hours getting ready, and although it should have been a minor thing I was devastated, and sat crying in the car for those two hours. I wasn’t much fun when she did arrive, and the evening was awful (I suppose the only blessing was that this place soon closed, too). I can’t get motivated to do anything today, even dress. I can’t make myself snap out of it. My best friend, the only woman who could get me out of this, is busy. I don’t want to bug her. I know this will end soon, but shit!
