This is № 4¹ in my series of posts on my artificially induced late onset puberty.
Physical effects; blah blah, same.
Mental effects; This is a very weird thing. My emotions run the gamut as those of a pubescent girl. It only takes the slightest thing to push my mood from one end of a spectrum to the other. The merest hint of a perceived slight, the faintest suspicion of rejection, and I’m plunged into the depths of despair, feeling it’s not worth trying to go on with life. I’m completely incapacitated. But the slightest show of affection from someone I love dearly (yes, you, you know who you are, if you’re reading this), and my state becomes euphoric – so much so that when I come down it’s actually exactly the same as a post-drug induced down. A year’s worth of endorphins on a few hours.
But here’s the thing; outside of this, my old and wise mind (and stupendous intellect, though it would be immodest to mention that, so I won’t) is watching this, noting each detail of this hyper emotive insanity, yet to my amazement is utterly unable to do anything to control it.
I am a 12-year-old girl with the sober regrets of a mature adult.
¹Numbers 1-3 are currently on @nikberry