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luckystar

sd/ib

Member Since 2003

Followers 21 Following 31

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Wednesday Mar 24, 2004

Mar 23, 2004
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I'm having a girly moment so if you dont want to hear a girl rant about stupid shit then I suggest you stop reading now...

I was walking past a park this afternoon and saw like 5 different couple kissing and holding each other. I looked down and thought "why cant I have that?" The question and the feelings that come with it remained in my head all day. I couldnt shake it. Any other day I would have just dissmised it and it would not have affected me at all.

Today I just cant stop thinking about it. Why haven't I had a love like that -ever? How come I was never asked out on a date in high school? Why do the nice guys ignore me and the assholes swarm toward me? Why am I the one my friends come to with boyfriend issues when I've never had a real relationship?

Sometimes I think I will never have someone. But then I make myself feel better by thinking about girls who are worse looking than me and do have boyfriends or husbands.

I just want someone to think about me. Someone to hold at night and feel safe with. Is that too much to ask for? Something real.

It seems like I only attract a certain type of guy, the type which if I liked, I wouldnt have any dating issues. It's almost like the kind of guy I look for is not interested in a girl like me. Ok, I'm making generalizations but that's been my experience.

I guess it's a little bit harder to date when you're a plus-sized girl. I'm not loosing hope and I'm not looking for pitty. I just needed to spill my guts. I'm done.

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