luckyrabbit

well i got into trouble last weekend. I got really drunk. Acted like an idiot. Came really close to ruining my relationship. I feel so stupid. I guess we all make mistakes, but I spend an amazing amount of time trying to make other people happy and this whole situation is very unlike me. I don't really no how to handle this. When I was drunk on the dance floor, my good friend leaned in and kissed me. Now, he didn't know I had a boyfriend. When I started dating my boyfriend he told me not to tell anyone we were dating. So he wasn't really at fault.I told my boyfriend the next day. He is surprisingly not very upset, I feel like I'm falling apart though. I'm not that girl, the party girl, I'm the quiet art nerd. I feel so stupid and guilty. I'm such a damn mess, and I have so much happening in my life right now I don't feel like I can handle it.

it always made me feel like shit, the whole you can be my girlfriend but you can't tell anybody about it. I've been lying to my friends this whole time telling them I'm single. Now I'm pretty sure everyone's going to find out were dating and I'm going to lose my friends because I've been lying to them about Josue. He told the guy who kissed me about our relationship and asked him about what happened. I don't think he believed me when I told him we only kissed. Then after he talked with him he came back to me and was completely fine with everything. But I'm not. I feel guilty because of the kiss, and because I've been lying to my friends.

you know, I never let people get close to me. I really dont. and I did and look what i happens. I screwed it all up. i just dont get how i always screw everything up