Alas, another weekend gone, and all too much excitement for one to handle. 
The weekend was great! The highlight was Saturday night, after a fun filled dinner at Dave and Busters (sarcasm) for a friends birthday. Cherrylove13 and I went over to a friends house who was having this big belated birthday/Chinese New Years party. We got there around 10 PM and it was just starting to get warmed up. Everyone was having a great time. There was this bar hag there though, and she was all over me.
First I should jump in and explain the people there. There were people between 20 and maybe 33 or so. Mostly mid-20's. Most of us have the "don't give a fuck" attitude. We are who we are. Well, this bar hag bitch is there with an aquantance of the girl who is throwing the party. This bitch is 40 something, tanned to the point that you could make boots out of her leather skin. She has a shitty tattoo of her daughters name on her back and she is all proud of it. She's dressed like she's 21 with a hot body, and she's 40 something and mother nature fucked with her for the last few years.
Ok, so following along so far? There is going to be a test at the end, so sharpen your #2 pencils....
On to the evening. Yes, she was all over me at first. Talking about how great of a person I seemed like. She was resting her tits on the table and trying every "get male attention now" trick that she could think of. She couldn't stop telling me how perfect I was. Nevermind the fact that my WIFE is sitting just 10 feet away. I'm blowing this crazy bitch off and Cherrylove13 is laughing at her attempts on me.
For the record, while I am married, and we may like to have some "fun" once in a while, let me tell you that it would NEVER be with something like that... we have much better taste.
Anyway, I blow this bitch off, and I watch her go from guy, to guy, to guy. Keep in mind that this is someone's MOTHER, probably picking up someone her daughter is probably old enough to have gone to school with. She starts getting louder and louder.
Insert this cool chick. She is there with her husband, nice as can be. She's walking around all night taking some kick ass pictures of everyone. She is obviously a photographer and was having fun. Well, she decides to show Little Miss White Trash (that's the bar hag for those who aren't paying attention) some "nice pictures I took of you and that guy over there".
Here is the conversation:
Cool chick: "check out these pictures"
Bar Hag: "I don't want my fucking picture taken"
Cool chick: "Ok, sorry, I won't take anymore, but do you want to see these?"
Hag: "Don't fucking take my picture bitch."
Cool chick: "Uh, ok, I wont... sorry."
Hag: "I DON'T WANT MY FUCKING PICTURE TAKEN."
Next thing you know, bar hag football takles the cool chick into a book shelf (mind you there is at least 10-15 years age difference) and starts trying to beat the crap out of the cool chick. The cool chick quickly gets the upper hand and rocks the FUCK out of the hag, and we are all just watching amazed.
Eventually the cool chicks husband tears her off of the bar hag, and seperates them. The bar hag then starts talking all this shit on how she was fucking her up, blah, blah, blah. Well, apparantly bar hag didn't like us audibly saying that she deserved it, she was a bitch, and as some other girls there said "I wanted to knock her the fuck out myself". So what's she do? You guessed it... calls the cops.
Needless to say almost everyone split in a hurry. With all the alcohol, and some under age people drinking, as well as some interesting smelling smoke filling the air, it was time to go.
In the end, the cop told her to go home and sober up... she was pissed from what I heard. Fuck her...
So yea, sorry about the long entry, it was just so fucking funny. I hope that everyone made some sense at whatever I typed up there... at least enough to laugh at it... or at my wonderful story telling.
Dr. Seuss, look out!
The weekend was great! The highlight was Saturday night, after a fun filled dinner at Dave and Busters (sarcasm) for a friends birthday. Cherrylove13 and I went over to a friends house who was having this big belated birthday/Chinese New Years party. We got there around 10 PM and it was just starting to get warmed up. Everyone was having a great time. There was this bar hag there though, and she was all over me.
First I should jump in and explain the people there. There were people between 20 and maybe 33 or so. Mostly mid-20's. Most of us have the "don't give a fuck" attitude. We are who we are. Well, this bar hag bitch is there with an aquantance of the girl who is throwing the party. This bitch is 40 something, tanned to the point that you could make boots out of her leather skin. She has a shitty tattoo of her daughters name on her back and she is all proud of it. She's dressed like she's 21 with a hot body, and she's 40 something and mother nature fucked with her for the last few years.
Ok, so following along so far? There is going to be a test at the end, so sharpen your #2 pencils....
On to the evening. Yes, she was all over me at first. Talking about how great of a person I seemed like. She was resting her tits on the table and trying every "get male attention now" trick that she could think of. She couldn't stop telling me how perfect I was. Nevermind the fact that my WIFE is sitting just 10 feet away. I'm blowing this crazy bitch off and Cherrylove13 is laughing at her attempts on me.
For the record, while I am married, and we may like to have some "fun" once in a while, let me tell you that it would NEVER be with something like that... we have much better taste.
Anyway, I blow this bitch off, and I watch her go from guy, to guy, to guy. Keep in mind that this is someone's MOTHER, probably picking up someone her daughter is probably old enough to have gone to school with. She starts getting louder and louder.
Insert this cool chick. She is there with her husband, nice as can be. She's walking around all night taking some kick ass pictures of everyone. She is obviously a photographer and was having fun. Well, she decides to show Little Miss White Trash (that's the bar hag for those who aren't paying attention) some "nice pictures I took of you and that guy over there".
Here is the conversation:
Cool chick: "check out these pictures"
Bar Hag: "I don't want my fucking picture taken"
Cool chick: "Ok, sorry, I won't take anymore, but do you want to see these?"
Hag: "Don't fucking take my picture bitch."
Cool chick: "Uh, ok, I wont... sorry."
Hag: "I DON'T WANT MY FUCKING PICTURE TAKEN."
Next thing you know, bar hag football takles the cool chick into a book shelf (mind you there is at least 10-15 years age difference) and starts trying to beat the crap out of the cool chick. The cool chick quickly gets the upper hand and rocks the FUCK out of the hag, and we are all just watching amazed.
Eventually the cool chicks husband tears her off of the bar hag, and seperates them. The bar hag then starts talking all this shit on how she was fucking her up, blah, blah, blah. Well, apparantly bar hag didn't like us audibly saying that she deserved it, she was a bitch, and as some other girls there said "I wanted to knock her the fuck out myself". So what's she do? You guessed it... calls the cops.
Needless to say almost everyone split in a hurry. With all the alcohol, and some under age people drinking, as well as some interesting smelling smoke filling the air, it was time to go.
In the end, the cop told her to go home and sober up... she was pissed from what I heard. Fuck her...
So yea, sorry about the long entry, it was just so fucking funny. I hope that everyone made some sense at whatever I typed up there... at least enough to laugh at it... or at my wonderful story telling.
Dr. Seuss, look out!
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
rockabillybaby:
That photo is priceless!
spunkrockj:
That IS the most charming photo ever. It almost makes me work up the motivation to install the software so I can show off my cats. Almost.