No. Dammit. Okay. Shit. Fuck. Asshole.
Could I be anymore of a constant contradiction to myself? I do, I don't, I do, I don't. Fuck, Even I am getting tired of hearing myself talk. Why can't I just BE? And be okay with the fact that I don't have all the answers or all of the end results in the palm of my hand. I remember once upon a time I was such a free person, careless, immature, whatever you want to call it. Now that I am a mommy, things are so much more complicated cause I am forced to only settle for the best. Oh. Darn. Yeah, no more doushe bags or fuckoffs for me. I miss those days.
I don't think I will ever find anyone suitable enough to bring around my son. His dad isn't the greatest man alive, but I feel more like I want someone who I can be proud to say "This is the new man in mommy's life who I think is very special. He will take us to the zoo, watch cartoons, play airplane with you, pay just as much attention to you as he does to mommy." In more of a simple manner, translation:This is my new boyfriend. No one will ever love him as much as his daddy, so maybe I will never be comfortable enough to have a permanent. Oh well for now. I only have time for a nice random fuck these days, anyway.
Could I be anymore of a constant contradiction to myself? I do, I don't, I do, I don't. Fuck, Even I am getting tired of hearing myself talk. Why can't I just BE? And be okay with the fact that I don't have all the answers or all of the end results in the palm of my hand. I remember once upon a time I was such a free person, careless, immature, whatever you want to call it. Now that I am a mommy, things are so much more complicated cause I am forced to only settle for the best. Oh. Darn. Yeah, no more doushe bags or fuckoffs for me. I miss those days.
I don't think I will ever find anyone suitable enough to bring around my son. His dad isn't the greatest man alive, but I feel more like I want someone who I can be proud to say "This is the new man in mommy's life who I think is very special. He will take us to the zoo, watch cartoons, play airplane with you, pay just as much attention to you as he does to mommy." In more of a simple manner, translation:This is my new boyfriend. No one will ever love him as much as his daddy, so maybe I will never be comfortable enough to have a permanent. Oh well for now. I only have time for a nice random fuck these days, anyway.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
mrdelicious:
It may take time for someone to give your boy as much attention as he gives you. Maybe you should find someone you feel good about and see how the relationship between him and your child develops. Give it a chance...
cunninglinquist:
there are good men out there, and you will find one when you least expect it and he will love your son becasue he is part of you