Have you ever just wanted to go home? To find that one place where you feel completely safe and comfortable? What happens when you can't go back to that place? Cuz its not really a place, but a person and a feeling?
Its really funny. I've spent the last couple of years with my friends joking about the fact that I have a fear of commitment, even to go so far as to inform the last guy I dated that they thought I had these issues. But then I met this guy, and we used to talk on the phone all the time. Even if we were making plans for getting together that night, we'd stay on the phone until our batteries were about to die. I spent most of my free time with him. It was awesome. It didn't matter if we were going out, watching tv, playing COD, giving each other a hard time or just cuddling, every part of it was amazing. And I started to feel, everything. Happy, sad, exasperated, elated, upset, anxious, excited, nervous...you name it, I felt it. So this girl, that everyone said had commitment issues found a home, that safe haven, that place where I was happy and content and blissful. And then I got uprooted from that home. I did the right thing, and it turned around and bit me in the ass!
Now I have to figure out whether there is even the remote possibility that I can get back there, and if there is, do I really want to go back? Seems like it was such an easy thing for him to do, to cut me out of his life. I could be wrong, he could be having as hard a time with this as I am, but the fact of the matter is, I didn't see one bit of remorse. It didn't seem to me like he felt bad about it at all. I don't know, maybe I just need to vent, get it out of my system. Maybe it really is meant to be and its gonna take some time. Maybe this was just a lesson that I needed to learn. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm really over feeling this way.