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lowmanyellowcoat

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Member Since 2010

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Thursday Nov 04, 2010

Nov 3, 2010
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Toast

I enjoy toast.

In fact, you might say I love toast.

I love toast for many reasons. So many reasons, in fact, that they are difficult to enumerate. I will attempt to do so anyway.

1. It's delicious.

2. I can have it for any meal at any time of the day or night.

These are all the reasons I can think of as to why I love toast.

If you don't like toast, then you should probably stop reading. What follows might best be described as Toast Fawning. I don't know what follows though because I'm still writing it. So really if you keep reading, you do so at your own risk.

I like my toast toasted at the level 3 setting on my toaster.

I like my toast with butter and nothing else. If you like to put other things on your toast, I will not judge you, but I may ask to try a bite and after doing so decide that it does not taste as good as toast that is simply buttered. I believe toast and butter is the only pure way toast can be enjoyed. If you put other things on it, then I might think you are pretentious. This is more a reflection of me than it is of you and your toast habit. I'm sorry.

I once tried Nutella on my toast. I felt ashamed.

I have toasted many types of bread, including French bread (which burns easily) and garlic bread (which stinks up your kitchen). Do not toast garlic bread in your kitchen toaster, guys. It ends sadly.

I cannot remember the first piece of toast I ever had and thus I am lead to believe that I never had a first piece of toast. I was simply born loving toast and I ate it from day one. Doctors did not start me crying by slapping my bottom. The started my crying by first giving me toast and then taking it away from me and then giving it back.

Bagels are also enjoyable but do not count as toast. I'm sorry. On this position I cannot waiver.

Butter can be microwaved. This is an important fact to know about the toasting habits of me.

Sometimes bread is too long to fit in the toaster slots so I have to cut the bread in half. This often occurs with Sheep Herder's Bread. However, sometimes, after cutting the bread in half, it is then too small. Then I feel as though I have been deprived a decent toast slice. But I still enjoy Sheep Herder's Bread.

Cold toast must be eaten out of respect for warm toast, but cold toast is gross so it is a good idea to never let your toast go cold. Seriously. Don't do it.

That's all I have to say about toast.

Thank you for reading.


Good night.

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