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low_ball

springfield, Illinois

Member Since 2006

Followers 34 Following 54

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Friday Oct 13, 2006

Oct 13, 2006
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its funny how life throws little sidetracks at you to keep you occupied and then lets you soak it in, to see if you like it.. then slaps you in the face w/ a brand new opportunity..!!!

i finally got a for real apprenticeship w/ a shop here in h-town.. i didnt realize how much of my time and creative energy was being wasted until now.. man it's funny how life can throw a curve ball like this..!! so.. keep an eye out for progress.. im sure i'll be posting pics of my progress and doing some more visual blogs in the near future.. im building a small portfolio to take to the shop tonight and will be working out all the details for the next 6-8months of my life..!! finally a break in the right direction..

my brother luke had some encouraging words for me today.. he said that when i was fat, i had all the negative associations that came along w/ that.. from both other people and from myself.. he said that he noticed that i learned to adapt to that though and work twice as hard for things to overcome the stigma of that.. to overcome my own insecurities and overcome the stigma that other people had of me or that i thought they had of me.. maybe it was underlined and maybe it wasn't eveident to everyone i came in contact w/ but it was there nonetheless.. i very well may have created it just to prove something to other people or myself but either way it was there... now that i've lost all the fat and the insecurities that came along with it.. i still have that work ethic and luke brought that to my attention.. 6months ago i would've been compeltely destroyed by some of the events that have taken place recently in my life or not so recently.. but im realizing that it's time for me to move on and get on w/ my fate.. and pursue being an artist.. which is what i am.. reguardless of the medium.. i know that's my fate.. just gotta find my medium.. or use all of my mediums for one purpose..

my confidence is higher than it's been my whole life and it's showing in every aspect of my life right now.. but the difference between someone like me and the person that's always been confident.. i know when confidence stops and being an asshole starts.. i still have insecure moments but all the bad shit seems to just be sliding right off my back right now.. !! finally..!

i know im going to succeed and i think other people can sense that in me and they are either scared of it/me or embrace it/me...
martini:
im happy to see you're doing well.. congrats on the apprenticeship! biggrin

xo
Oct 14, 2006

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