so last night i had another dream...but this time it was about going back to school and the girl i had a crush on in high school was in it!
i had the biggest crush on this girl, Jess, in high school....she looked like kirsten dunst ::swoon::. i never thought i would be the type to crush on a blonde!? anyways, she had curly hair, snorted drugs just like i did back then, and we would skip class to be bad and snort them together. she had a dipshit boyfriend who was a total wigger and thought he was so cool cuz he sold drugs...SUCH A LOSER. i had a loser boyfriend, too...
so we would hang out here and there; she went to raves before i did...my mom wouldn't let me stay out overnight anywhere while i was in the later high school years.
she would also come visit me at the diner i worked at in the mall...
she came to my high school sophomore year and she sat in back of me. i was INSTANTLY enamored by her...she had magic all around her. she was preppy and i certainly was NOT...but i thought she was cool anyways...
she started hangin with the harder crowd in 11th and 12th grade and that's when the drugs started.
as i said, we became a little closer (no one was REALLY close to her...all her preppy friends dropped out of the picture by then), and she told me she was bisexual and that she used to have sleepovers when she was little with other girls and they would eat each other out!
well, of course all this talk just made me even more frustrated being that i was in high school, A VIRGIN, and SO insecure about my looks. i wanted her SO BADLY!!!! i could TASTE how badly i wanted her...and i NEVER EVER KNEW whether she wanted me!! i always wonder if she was shy, too, or if she just wasn't attracted to me....
well, i found out she got pregnant and had a girl after high school. i tracked her down my sophomore year of college (i was in love w/my ex, james) and by then i was going to parties/raves and was siked to share with her about it. she wasn't doing anything bad anymore..quit all the drugs, lived with her mom in conneticut. i never talked to her after that, and TO THIS DAY i STILL WONDER!!!
it drives me crazy sometimes, obviously, since i have dreams about her every few months or so.
in my dream last night she was in it--but she wasn't her...and i was telling her about HER (it was weird...) she was asking me if it wasn't weird that i felt the way i did about wanting to get back in touch with her and i said, "no, it's just unrequited love."
so, i dunno....the crazy dreams continue....
i had the biggest crush on this girl, Jess, in high school....she looked like kirsten dunst ::swoon::. i never thought i would be the type to crush on a blonde!? anyways, she had curly hair, snorted drugs just like i did back then, and we would skip class to be bad and snort them together. she had a dipshit boyfriend who was a total wigger and thought he was so cool cuz he sold drugs...SUCH A LOSER. i had a loser boyfriend, too...
so we would hang out here and there; she went to raves before i did...my mom wouldn't let me stay out overnight anywhere while i was in the later high school years.
she would also come visit me at the diner i worked at in the mall...
she came to my high school sophomore year and she sat in back of me. i was INSTANTLY enamored by her...she had magic all around her. she was preppy and i certainly was NOT...but i thought she was cool anyways...
she started hangin with the harder crowd in 11th and 12th grade and that's when the drugs started.
as i said, we became a little closer (no one was REALLY close to her...all her preppy friends dropped out of the picture by then), and she told me she was bisexual and that she used to have sleepovers when she was little with other girls and they would eat each other out!
well, of course all this talk just made me even more frustrated being that i was in high school, A VIRGIN, and SO insecure about my looks. i wanted her SO BADLY!!!! i could TASTE how badly i wanted her...and i NEVER EVER KNEW whether she wanted me!! i always wonder if she was shy, too, or if she just wasn't attracted to me....
well, i found out she got pregnant and had a girl after high school. i tracked her down my sophomore year of college (i was in love w/my ex, james) and by then i was going to parties/raves and was siked to share with her about it. she wasn't doing anything bad anymore..quit all the drugs, lived with her mom in conneticut. i never talked to her after that, and TO THIS DAY i STILL WONDER!!!
it drives me crazy sometimes, obviously, since i have dreams about her every few months or so.
in my dream last night she was in it--but she wasn't her...and i was telling her about HER (it was weird...) she was asking me if it wasn't weird that i felt the way i did about wanting to get back in touch with her and i said, "no, it's just unrequited love."
so, i dunno....the crazy dreams continue....