yeah so today was sucky.
i accomplished a whole lot of nothing, and I feel my day was completley wasted.
All of my roommates boyfriends are here and they're all doing coupley heavy petting in their respective rooms, and it makes me feel like a lonely old maid 7th wheel. Gotta love that. The LDR thing..yeah. Not fun at times like this.
I saw
Lydia's set today, and after checking that out I browsed through her and her boyfriends (he was the photographer) journals and profiles, and they seem like they're really in love. I have no idea how long they've been together, but they seem totally infatuated with each other, and god damn do I miss that. I miss feeling wanted, needed, and like the overwhelming feelings of love and lust between two people would never ever dissapate. I suppose that's the trade off; infatuation for comfort...but I wish I had both. I really wish that my boyfriend was obsessed and enamored with me as he was when we first began dating. I just really want to feel wanted and worthy of dating. Lydia and her boyfriend have that. I want it so fucking bad, it hurts. Maybe the whole being away from each other and going to school 2 hours away from each other will make those feelings resurface again.
My classes seem like they'll be interesting and easy, two things I enjoy greatly. No classes MWF, which is awesome. I'm such a nerd, because I'm loving being back in class. It's just really refreshing and invigorating. I'm a geek. I'm kind of re-evaluating the things I want to do with my life, and it definately involves writing and art and creating and celebrating expression. My ultimate dream job I think would be working as a curator in an art gallery in NYC and writing a column in an amazing magazine....I have too many dreams, and I don't know if I have the support or strength to make them happen.
God damn this was a depressing post. Sigh. Definately time to go sleep of my ridiculous girly angstiness.
i accomplished a whole lot of nothing, and I feel my day was completley wasted.
All of my roommates boyfriends are here and they're all doing coupley heavy petting in their respective rooms, and it makes me feel like a lonely old maid 7th wheel. Gotta love that. The LDR thing..yeah. Not fun at times like this.
I saw
Lydia's set today, and after checking that out I browsed through her and her boyfriends (he was the photographer) journals and profiles, and they seem like they're really in love. I have no idea how long they've been together, but they seem totally infatuated with each other, and god damn do I miss that. I miss feeling wanted, needed, and like the overwhelming feelings of love and lust between two people would never ever dissapate. I suppose that's the trade off; infatuation for comfort...but I wish I had both. I really wish that my boyfriend was obsessed and enamored with me as he was when we first began dating. I just really want to feel wanted and worthy of dating. Lydia and her boyfriend have that. I want it so fucking bad, it hurts. Maybe the whole being away from each other and going to school 2 hours away from each other will make those feelings resurface again.
My classes seem like they'll be interesting and easy, two things I enjoy greatly. No classes MWF, which is awesome. I'm such a nerd, because I'm loving being back in class. It's just really refreshing and invigorating. I'm a geek. I'm kind of re-evaluating the things I want to do with my life, and it definately involves writing and art and creating and celebrating expression. My ultimate dream job I think would be working as a curator in an art gallery in NYC and writing a column in an amazing magazine....I have too many dreams, and I don't know if I have the support or strength to make them happen.
God damn this was a depressing post. Sigh. Definately time to go sleep of my ridiculous girly angstiness.
bishopufb:
are you majoring in art?.. cause if you go to college.. that's the greatest major ever...
lovesome:
haha. i'm trying to figure out if you're being earnest or facetious 