long time no see, dear sg land. my account expired a few months ago, but now i'm back in action.
i have so much to say, but not much at all. i spent most of today high with a group of super chill friends "watching" football, drinking leftover keg from last night's dance party, and mesmerized by a deep frier (fried oreos really are amazing). truly texan (aka gluttonous).
i'm at a point in my life where... the next move is coming up. i'll be graduating in august with a b.a. in history and a b.a. in anthropology. but then what? i want to cut free and be a vagabond, but my student loans are probably going to haunt me for a very long time. i'm also in a serious relationship that has been in a funk for the past few months. what do you do? so tricky since we 1) have practically all the same classes this semester and 2) work together. i love him dearly, but it's suffocating. annnd i'm scared of the commitment that long relationships require. i'm so young still! ah. my little brother has also been living on my couch for the past few months which has meant less cash money and more preoccupation with what meal to cook for dinner. what he devours in three days would've taken me a month to eat. i don't know. i've got a lot on my plate right now. i need to stay focued on the present instead of trying to map everything out i guess
oh, and i'm blonde now.
i have so much to say, but not much at all. i spent most of today high with a group of super chill friends "watching" football, drinking leftover keg from last night's dance party, and mesmerized by a deep frier (fried oreos really are amazing). truly texan (aka gluttonous).
i'm at a point in my life where... the next move is coming up. i'll be graduating in august with a b.a. in history and a b.a. in anthropology. but then what? i want to cut free and be a vagabond, but my student loans are probably going to haunt me for a very long time. i'm also in a serious relationship that has been in a funk for the past few months. what do you do? so tricky since we 1) have practically all the same classes this semester and 2) work together. i love him dearly, but it's suffocating. annnd i'm scared of the commitment that long relationships require. i'm so young still! ah. my little brother has also been living on my couch for the past few months which has meant less cash money and more preoccupation with what meal to cook for dinner. what he devours in three days would've taken me a month to eat. i don't know. i've got a lot on my plate right now. i need to stay focued on the present instead of trying to map everything out i guess
oh, and i'm blonde now.
more soon
xo
knives2meatyou:
Hello. Glad you're back in action and that I happened to find your page. I understand that sense of uncertainty that's hovering over you right now like the proverbial Sword of Damocles (whoa, how's that for a left field reference). I guess that sense of not knowing what's coming next, and of feeling caught or trapped in something (feeling suffocated as it were) can frankly get a little scary (or at the very least disorienting). I don't think we ever get over fearing we're lost but there are moments in everyone's life when the sense of disconnect just really seems to dominate the conversation. I'm no philosopher but when I get like that I simply trust my gut, lower my head and move forward. What's that line people use about spinning wheels? Round and round she goes, and where she stops nobody knows. Sounds like an metaphor to me.