love_suicide

i went to my family doctor yesterday. i explained to him about my heart & my panic attacks & my rage. i left there with 4 prescriptions & plenty of samples. i only had enough money to get my Lortabs filled. i will try to borrow some money ($100) for the rest. the rest includes: medicine for IBS, for parasites, & for anxiety. the samples...
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something is wrong with me. i don't know what it is exactly, but i keep having rage episodes. every time i talk to my mother i start clenching my jaw & my fists. i start yelling & threaten to punch her. this all started about a month ago. it has affected damn near everyone i know & love. i know i have to restrain myself...
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june 15th: overslept (till about 3pm). got up & frantically got showered, dressed, packed for Six Flags, & got out the door. went by Sally Beauty Supply for some bleach & pink hair dye, met Nikki @ Wilhagen's, she sprayed my hair pink, met up with Alex. hung out with Alex for a while, did some Addy, he & i left for Bham. met up...
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yesterday i hit an all time low. i won't go into details but it's completely over with me & Gabriel now (since Tuesday). i haven't been able to get out of bed much over the past 2 days & i'm having to keep myself doped up on nerve pills. i almost checked myself into North Harbor Mental Hospital yesterday, but I decided to wait &...
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So, I'm not moving to Pensacola. Gabriel & I are no more. Too many things were telling me that it wasn't right, so I finally told him Goodbye. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I do feel strange & I know it hasn't fully hit me yet. Expect either mania or depression to kick in hard-core in the next day or...
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So, I'm not moving to Pensacola. Gabriel & I are no more. Too many things were telling me that it wasn't right, so I finally told him Goodbye. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I do feel strange & I know it hasn't fully hit me yet. Expect either mania or depression to kick in hard-core in the next day or...
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kagome can stand up by herself now! it's so cool watching her grow up before my eyes. katana weighs 30 lbs & is almost 38 inches tall now!! my little babies...becoming big girls.

off to pensacola one week from today. hooray. beaches & bikini babes & blunts all the way.

this friday is the big 40+ dj party at the station in bham. i really...
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i spent today packing & cleaning. tomorrow i'll buy groceries & take the kids to the dr. saturday i'm planning on going out if i don't leave early to go to pensacola. i might wait & go next saturday, though. still deciding. next saturday would be a lot easier & give me a chance to receive some packages & things i'm expecting, but of course...
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life...i wonder...will it take me down under? i don't know.

that's a quote from a song...just felt like sharing...

today was long & boring. i didn't really do anything. i never even left the house except to check the mail. there was nothing of importance in the mailbox, though, just sales papers. blah.

the kitty, Tenseiga, is adjusting quite well. he loves to be held...
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