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love_suicide

nowhere, alabama

Member Since 2007

Followers 42 Following 42

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Thursday Jul 26, 2007

Jul 26, 2007
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Last night I was ready to give up on me & Inuyasha (aka Gabe). He kept telling me he had mixed feelings & that there was another girl in his thoughts. I wanted to hang on, but I thought maybe I had to let go. I couldn't force something that wasn't right. Just as I was about to tell him that he was free to go, he told me that he had called this other girl & ended things with her. He told her the truth & that truth was that he still loved me & wanted to be with me. It made me realize that holding on was the right thing to do & made me want to stick to my guns more than ever. (That means being faithful, honest, & trying not to be such a bitch all the damn time).

This morning started off kinda shitty. I got out my chill pill (Klonopin) & forgot to take it. 20 minutes later I'm walking around the trailer nit-picking every thing that was out of its place, every upside-down baby bottle, stain on the children's bedding, every everything. I went from asleep to screaming at the top of my lungs of mundane unorganization in 20 minutes. I really feel sorry for the shit I put my family through when these moods take over me. I finally realized while I was sobbing in a corner in the kitchen that I hadn't taken my meds & I promptly did so. Less than an hour later, everything was hunky dory.

I dropped off Kagome with Mom at her work. We got gas with the last bit of money we could put on my last now maxxed out credit card. Then we went to DHR & I got an application for Welfare as I set up an appointment to talk to my child support worker about the $839 that Ryan has missed so far. That money would sure come in handy right about now. Here's the current tally. We're down about $2680 which includes money for next month's bills, having our septic tank pumped, fixing Inuyasha's truck, the overdraft fee for the bank (thanks to Inuyasha's pissed at me spending & not informing policy), my car insurance, & etc. Anywho, then we went for Katana's WIC appointment. They weighed her (31 lbs.), checked her height (almost 38 inches tall), & tested her iron level (very good). Then she got an inflatable beach ball & we got vouchers for free milk, cheese, eggs, juice, & cereal.

After that we headed home. My mom ended up babysitting both kids for the whole night, but since we are completely broke & getting low on gas, it wasn't feasible for us to go out. We invited an old friend over & had a nice evening watching numerous episodes of Scrubs. I think I finally got Inuyasha into it somewhat. smile Now it's time for bed because I have to get up at 7:30AM for my TANF (Welfare) appointment. Good night, my lovely readers. I hope you enjoyed this chronicle of my soap opera life. wink

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
bairdduvessa:
i hope things work out. at least you've still got that smile
Jul 26, 2007
iggy:
Ugh. Dads who do't pay child support piss me off. And its been my experience that these dads tend to have the money, they just spend it on themselves, or spend it impressing some other girl, and then say they don't have it. And it seems like no matter how many times you take them to court it it just doesn't matter, they just don't get it, and they still don't pay...

Maybe thats not the case here but it still makes me angry....
Jul 27, 2007

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