Today was a miserable fiend. A dark cloud bellowing high, ready to rain on me. Damnit. Once again.
Don't worry, Im not going to bitch about the details here. I'll just post some crapy poetry i wrote to make me feel better.
*********
I feel it snowing again, under my skin.
I'd give a hundred lifetimes to live my best memories again.
Like flakes of ice on the sidewalk in summer, the days quickly fade away. I was once convinced that dreams came true and that my music wouldn't always be solid blue...Now, i wonder, i really do.
I mourn the departure of better days, the passing of a loved one, and the absence of affection from someone so dear.
What remains? Mostly soul ache, heartbreak, and fear.
Hurt plays hard to end, Just on a whim it begins again.
The outline of my heart's visions I trace in the sand. not out of anger, but out of sadness, I wipe it away with my hand.
How many more days will the sun forget it's rays?
How many more nights will the stars forget their light?
How many more years will my cheeks be stained from these tears?
I wonder, i really do.
**********
Oh, shit... Hell yeah, its July 4th. Happy Independence Day
If ya got em, light em. but be safe huh.
-L.O.-
Don't worry, Im not going to bitch about the details here. I'll just post some crapy poetry i wrote to make me feel better.
*********
I feel it snowing again, under my skin.
I'd give a hundred lifetimes to live my best memories again.
Like flakes of ice on the sidewalk in summer, the days quickly fade away. I was once convinced that dreams came true and that my music wouldn't always be solid blue...Now, i wonder, i really do.
I mourn the departure of better days, the passing of a loved one, and the absence of affection from someone so dear.
What remains? Mostly soul ache, heartbreak, and fear.
Hurt plays hard to end, Just on a whim it begins again.
The outline of my heart's visions I trace in the sand. not out of anger, but out of sadness, I wipe it away with my hand.
How many more days will the sun forget it's rays?
How many more nights will the stars forget their light?
How many more years will my cheeks be stained from these tears?
I wonder, i really do.
**********
Oh, shit... Hell yeah, its July 4th. Happy Independence Day
If ya got em, light em. but be safe huh.
-L.O.-
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
4th of july sucked except for the food. i like food.
As terrible as what those two did at Columbine, I find it hard to....to be angry at them. granted I had no personal stake in the tragedy, no family members or friends. But still....focusing all that hate and blame on just those two...well, they were a symptom. If you remember what Matt Stone - creator of South Park - said about that very same school he went to....the social killing grounds, the incredible pressure to be 'in' or 'out'...the utter conviction that if you failed in high school socially, academically, athletically: you failed your entire life.
What's also tragic is that this most likely taught that town and the entire nation absolutely nothing. Instead, the youth got demonised and subject to a subversive witch hunt that shit in the dignity and rights of one of the most repressed and manipulated social groups in the world: teenagers.
*****
You are welcome for the testimonial. I sense a kindred spirit in you and it deserves notice. In fact, you are kind of scary because I can sometimes see myself crystal clear in the challenges I have already faced, and am still facing. We all learn at our own pace, and that pace is perfect, but I want to help nonetheless.
*****
Having a girl...
Yeah...I even gone through that. Look, I know you've heard this before, but really you need to focus on yourself. When you find your own center, you won't have to find a girl. A girl will find you. It's really clich but I have met more than my share of people who have discovered it by will or by accident. I am hardly a poster boy for this clich since I have only begun to find my own center. I am really very very single most of the time. Nor do I lack admirers, but often they reflect my flaws and are not the kind of partner I seek. I will never go so low as to just accept whatever will have me just to not be alone. I have my dignity. I CHOOSE to be single knowing it is the healthier option right now.
I personally don't believe in luck. Not one bit. So you shouldn't either.
And you know what? I'm personally learning to be very OK with not having anyone around. Loneliness is a challenge but it can be dealt with and it's worth finding those ways.
Tell me if I'm repeating myself or you've heard all this before.
You have barely started, so don't worry about finding a path. Just keep your eyes open and try really wild and different things that catch your interest. Heck, if it'll help and it's within means, travel.