lostomen

GOD, what an utterly empty and sorrowfull day. The end of it was fun though, hanging out by the lake drinking hot chocolate with julie. It made me feel happy. I wasn't looked down on as a bother, or as an ill acquantance, or an obligation. I was looked at as a simple friend to share a warm drink and some stories with. Such a sublte thing, but really very precious. Friends like Julie and Jessie are very rare, I find it to be of priceless value to share a part in their lives. My thankfulness and gratitude for their kindness towards me is really overflowing, hence the entry. sorry.
Sometimes though, i wish i was someone different, if only for a day or two....I'm tired of being an overly sensitive softy who's lost inside, somewhere between the mind and heart...I'm tired of wondering and worrying if I'm going to feel ashamed for trying to do something kind because it will be perceived in the wrong way.
Hell, I'm just tired... the kind of tired that sleep doesn't cure.
Maybe tomorrow the sky will have less clouds, and the day will end with a happy memory or two again.
I think I will visit my grandma tomorrow, and perhaps my father.

I hope your day today is a good one.